Parsley is the Victim of a Terrible Conspiracy. The Vegetable Elites are Corrupt. Includes Recipe for Quinoa Tabbouleh.

in funny •  7 years ago  (edited)

Parsley Pixabay.jpg
Consp.jpg
Major media outlets are not reporting on this. They won’t because they’re deep in the pockets of powerful interest groups. You heard it here first: The vegetable world is corrupt. It’s dominated by a few elites, including carrots, lettuce, broccoli, spinach, and tomatoes. A handful of wealthy families control everything and set the agenda for many peoples’ dinner plates.

Want proof? Broccoli, kale, cauliflower, cabbage, collard greens, and brussels sprouts are all owned by the same powerful vegetable family. That’s right; they’re all brassicas. In fact, some are even the same species. How is that for corruption and nepotism? No wonder they control so much real estate in the produce sections of supermarkets, grocery stores, and markets.

MarketBroc.jpg
Broccoli, cabbage and cauliflower sell more? Of course they do. They own like half the freaking market space. Source: Still image from https: //youtu.be/0g_SER121Dc (space added to address to prevent embedding).

Not only does this limit consumers’ choices, but it undermines would-be vegetable contenders like parsley. Sure, they call it an herb. But “herb” is such a demeaning label. Calling parsley an “herb” is their way of marginalizing this vegetable’s immense talents and contributions. If you’ve ever had tabbouleh, scrambled eggs with parsley, parsley pesto, or parsley tacos, you know that it’s far more than an herb.

Spices.jpg
Public Domain via Pixabay.

What is an herb, anyway? It’s something you sprinkle in smaller quantities. An herb has an intense flavor that adds its strong character to a dish, such as oregano, rosemary, or dill. An herb is not something mild to chop in great quantity. Parsley fits that description, either raw or cooked, and a mere sprinkle of it adds nothing. Like so many other vegetable victims (salsify, fiddleheads, and cardoon; I'm looking at you!), parsley’s full potential has never been unleashed.

How would you like to be dried up, irradiated, and put in a small spice shaker?

Conspiracy.jpg
Source: It's a dollar bill, y'all!.

I won’t swallow that herbal kool-aid. Parsley is a vegetable, not an herb, and only a conspiracy has held it down. Powerful interests have prevented it from taking its rightful place in the veggie world. Let no one tell you otherwise.

With that in mind, here is a modern, healthy twist on a classic Mediterranean-Middle Eastern favorite that features lots of parsley.

Quinoa tabbouleh CC Flickr Lablascovegmenu.jpg
Quinoa tabbouleh with the lettuce option. Creative Commons via Flickr by Lablascovegmenu.

Quinoa Tabbouleh (Recipe)

Ingredients

1 cup quinoa
2 cups water
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup parsley, chopped (flat leaf variety is best)
1 cup tomatoes, chopped
1/2 cup Lebanese or English cucumber, chopped
1/4 cup mint, chopped
1/4 cup chives, diced (may substitute 2 scallions)
1/2 cup olive oil
2 tablespoons lemon juice, freshly squeezed
1 small garlic clove, crushed
1/4 teaspoon black pepper, freshly ground
Additional lemon juice, salt and black pepper, to taste

Variation: Substitute shredded lettuce and carrots for tomatoes and cucumbers
Stronger flavored option: 1/4 teaspoon each of spices: allspice, cinnamon, coriander, fenugreek, nutmeg, and powdered ginger (for something a little less spicy, use only the first few of these)
Optional: 1/4 cup feta cheese, crumbled

Directions

This recipe substitutes quinoa for the bulgur wheat. Authentic Middle Eastern tabbouleh uses even less grain with more parsley and mint, so you can vary proportions as you wish, using more or less lemon juice, salt, and black pepper to taste.

First, cook the quinoa in 2 cups of salted, boiling water. Cook uncovered and stir for 12-15 minutes until water is gone, stirring it as needed. Quinoa should be cooked and fluffy.

Second, mix lemon juice, olive oil, and crushed garlic in a bowl.

Chop vegetables and herbs. Using a bowl, mix them into the quinoa, covering with the lemon dressing and stirring.

Add additional salt, pepper, and spices to taste.

Cover the bowl and chill tabbouleh in the refrigerator. This dish can be eaten cold. It’s delicious with romaine lettuce, which you can use as a wrap. It also goes well with pita bread, hummus, falafel, and other Mediterranean and Middle Eastern dishes.

Quinoa Tab CC Mack Male.jpg

Then say it with me three times: “Parsley is a vegetable!”

Thumbnail image: Public Domain, Pixabay. Bottom image: Quinoa tabblouleh. Createive commons via Flickr by Mack Male.

Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
Sort Order:  

I need my Shia lebouf standing ovation gif... but too hard to get to on my phone. I applaud any post that properly uses the word "freaking" anywhere in it. But seriously thank you for shining a light on this very crucial issue. I knew there was some sort of illuminati conspiracy going on. My cat has been warning me of it for years! Thank you for shining a light on this. We can't fight the vegetable conspiracy unless we inform the masses. You have provided a valuable public service. Thank you.

Home now. This is what you deserve.

Parsley is pretty great, I do love it, which is why it's growing in a pot on my patio.

OMG, he's growing pot!

;) it's legal in Massachusetts.

hahahaha that was funny to read :D Thanks @donkeypong! You are making me going to sleep with a smile in my mouth :)
Edit: Will try the recipe tomorrow... looks tasty

Glad to hear that. Let me know how it turns out!

I have a pot of fresh Parsley in my kitchen window and I add it to all of my sauces, and chilies, just snip a piece off and chop it up. The best part is after you cut off a sprig, a new one just grows right back. I have had the same small pot for 3 years. Thanks for sharing

Thanks for telling us about growing it. I definitely need to grow some more.

Scary stuff... I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts on the anti-cilantro conspiracy. It is just a theory, after all, but it does seem to have some weight given that its legitimacy as a basil substitute for pesto has been repressed into secrecy.

We may have to alert some underground groups and investigate further. Sounds fishy.

LMAOOOO omg this was so refreshingly funny and fun to read. I agree too, you should do one on Barley it is the Parsley of the Grain World. Rice and Wheat get all the praise, mean while we been eating Barley since the beginning of time as farmers and possibly wild Barley before then. I love Parsley and use it daily, it grows so easily here in Florida like a weed with out any effort.

If you do a barley post, I'll upvote it. :)

I will lol, I have tons of great Barley Recipes on my Youtube Channel too. I love that stuff. It is so underrated.

Hilarious! Thanks for the chuckle and tomorrow's lunch.

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

Parsley is indeed a good and healthy vegitable even better than most popular vegitables we buy daily and it is not expensive. It is however, better to have combinations of good vegitable in our menu daily. Thanks for sharing this good tips, keep it up

True. Balanced diets are important.

I agree, you are welcome.

Guys, we all know parsley is green paper. Let's get real.

Remind me to buy stock in an Origami company.

Actually Parsley is an alien life form that was discovered on the moon.

The whole moon hoax conspiracy was created purely to act as a cover for the actual truth that Neil Armstrong brought it back with him!

Have you ever seen any references to Parsley before 1969 - well they are all fake because it didn't exist on this planet before then.

It may be delicious but it is part of a secret plot by the Moon people to take over the Earth!

Is the moon hollow? Neil Armstrong might have missed those hydroponic gardens. No wonder it's green.

It is definitely hollow because I read it on the internet! Also Armstrong was one of the Moon people. He isn't really dead - he just returned to the Moon in a flying saucer.

Wait, but I read that the moon is cheese!? Back to the internet....

It is - in fact it is the secret source of all the Emmental cheese in the world.

Now that you mention it, these astronauts look kind of hollow too.
post

Yes Moon people worship hollow objects.

What a great way to feature a recipe. HAHAH :)

Very funny @donkeypong! :)

Cheers for the smiles!

Hope your day is going well!

I use parsley anywhere I would use lettuce. I like it on sandwiches more than lettuce. And it lasts in the garden a lot longer - from summer one year to the summer next year, when it flowers and sets seeds. With those seeds, you can grow parsley on and on and on! Yay for parsley! :D

Great suggestion!

Great stuff! Don't even get me started on the Beta vulgaris scene...sketchy stuff going on between swiss chard and beets.

Me encanta el perejil, en ensaladas ,sopas etc

i couldn't tell if the conspiracy stuff was a joke or not, it sounds like something that would occur.

image
star a fire the fish its ready

Where is the STEEM oscar? ... LoL And it goes to....donkeykong

You're too kind. But I see better posts from others every day that deserve more votes.

Equal rights for all vegetables and herbs. I don't discriminate. I grow everything.

IMG_0741.JPG

Store Wars --->>> Not all vegetables are the same.

LOL! I think im going to start a Parsley delivery business!

Haha, this is brilliant, a recipe with a Steem twist!

Using the #conspiracy #redpill etc tags would have got you more votes though :)

The recipe you mentioned and the picture of food, looks delicious man. And well, we mostly use Parsley in food called "Tarkaari" and specially for diabetes' patients because it is reported that it controls the sugar level.

Whaaat? Parsley is a vegetable? I never knew! Clearly I'm a victim of brainwashing by the elites of the vegetable world. 😉

Humour + Cooking = Hitting my happiness buttons from all angles. 😍

You're funny =) It's a great point. But truly people just don't pay enough attention to any vegetables on the whole. Actually, one of my favorite uses of parsley is for making green juice!

1 big bundle of parsley
~3 lbs of carrots
a half a large head of green cabbage
and a cluster of celery

makes a dark emerald green veggie juice, I love it!!!! the parsley is pretty much where all the color comes from. anyway, thanks for the recipe, looks tasty!!!

Terrible injustice!

I am actually a big fan of parsley... Thank you for this.

love me some tabbouleh, thanks for sharing that looks amazing

Parsley is a vegetable! Parsley is a vegetable! Parsley is a vegetable!

Hilarious story aside - a damn fine recipe for tabblouleh.

Parsley is a whatttt

The dreaded V-word. Vegetable!

Yikes !

Well Done Sir. Well Done

Parsley is a vegetable! Parsley is a vegetable! Parsley is a vegetable!

I don't know where you've been, but Avocado has been taking over at record speed. In a few months, you'll be begging for carrots and tomatoes.

Avocado BURGER anyone? Avocado BURGER??

Thanks for the recipe as I want to try quinoa. They say it's good in protein. Now the parsley is a vegetable in my mind.

😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣... Hilarious

Yeah but they have to keep it that way because the next thing you know, characters like dandelion and horsetail will want in on the veggie action too :o)

If any of the mentioned vegetable were on the steemit and read your post, they will surely flag it. LOL

Nice, you have substitute recipe... I just aware there vegetable cartel, thank you for this information. :)

That tabbouleh looks really yummy! I must try this :)

It's a really healthy meal, I want to ask if these foods taste hot?

Parsley is mild. If you add something spicy to the recipe, it will be hot. It does have a little raw garlic, which some people consider hot, but I would say it's fairly low on the scale of spicyness. The dressing, with lemon juice, is somewhat acidic.

Omg that looks so delicious yum,. Im following you! :)

Very useful thanks for sharing @donkeypong

You sir, deserve an award.

Great post. Wow. I didn't know that :). Thank you for sharing.

The herbs is the best i love them <3

#parsleylivesmatter :) tnx for the recipe

i like your post, thanks for sharing

hi very good content, well done :)

very nice recipe thanks a bunch i will surely try it at home :)

Fantastic, I love parsley!

You are a very funny and clever writer.

AS ALWAYS.."IF IT MAKES A MONEY OR CURES CANCER"...IT HAS TO BECOME ILLEGAL OR PROHIBITED BY THE GOVERNMENTS....OTHERWISE GOVERNORS DON'T MAKE MONEY.

Nice recipe and really delicious look. upvote

Looking so delicious.

Hello @donkeypong, funny! We are just trying to set crowdfunding on Steemit to get resources to save Abongphen Highland Forest in Cameroon. Please could you help us in our effort? Thank you very much for your upvotes and resteems. https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@kedjom-keku/do-it-for-forest-crowdfunding-who-are-we-actually-forest-friendly-family-each-11usd-10x10-m-forest-saved

I'll pick all the parsley pieces out of the dish...

looks nice,i want it :D @donkeypong

Nice post man i am 14 years old and i am trying to get young people like myself to use time on steemit to benefit from there skills :) you are a real inspiration and if you could support my post by upvoting that would mean a lot ;) i upvote all your content

Thanks for the recipe!

Parsley A.K.A. white boy cilantro.

very very funny - it reminds me of a friend who has changed his gender to 'Broccolli' -anyway i will follow and see what else your laughing at -- i am full of bad humour -so follow me if you want too.David

parsley cancer cure conspiracy
Every cancer can be cured in weeks. Wrong ideas about cancer can lead to needless worry and even hinder good prevention and treatment decisions. Cancer researchers invent scientific myths/misconceptions because cancer is big business and those who are profiting have great financial interest in seeing the deadly trend continue to increase. Cancer is a disease of the cells in the body. The genes control the functions of the cell. Organelles are little organs of the cell. Organelles are specialized and adapted to perform different functions of the cells. Some researchers believe that cancers are caused by DNA damage that accumulates over a person's lifetime. Many cancers seem to develop for no apparent reason. However, certain risk factors are known to increase the chance that one or more of cells will become abnormal and lead to cancer. Most cancers develop in older people. The body has anti-iron mechanisms which may protect from developing cancer: not all smokers (Stalin, Churchill) develop cancer of the lung. The Father of Oncology (Vadim Shapoval) says that a cell needs to have iron overload (when excess iron accumulates within cellular organelles) before it becomes cancerous. Intracellular iron overload affects DNA and chromosomes (genetic chaos), mitochondria (mitochondrial dysfunction), lysosomes (cancerous cell becomes immortal), etc. In inherited forms of cancer, parents give their sons and daughters abnormal iron metabolism within various organs (breast cancer, ovarian cancer, colon cancer, familial melanoma). Iron disorders are inherited and can be confirmed with genetic testing. Genes that maintain iron homeostasis may facilitate iron uptake, storage or egress, or the regulation of any of these processes. The spectrum of known disorders of iron metabolism has expanded dramatically over the past years. Any cancer is caused by iron-related genes (numerous genes directly/indirectly involved in iron metabolism / hereditary cancers) and iron-related events (when excess iron accumulates within the cells, tissues, and organs due to various carcinogenic lifestyle events / sporadic cancers). According to the Ferromagnetic Cancer Theory (Theory from the Old Testament; Iron Conception), any cancer is a subtle iron disease; a form of iron lottery. Ceramic needles can suppress any tumors and large metastases; can quickly create harmless infiltrations (harmless necroses; deposits of cells that die; benign capsules); can enter solution [sulfur (2%) + olive oil (98%); 36.6C - 39.0C] to tumors and large metastases. Anti-iron slow blood loss (even 75%) [hemoglobin control], anti-iron goat’s milk diet and anti-iron drinking water containing hydrogen sulfide can neutralize any micro-metastases and isolated cancerous cells. Cancer researchers ignore iron/cancer information-1905-2014. Cancer is big business. In 2012 alone, about 14 million people were diagnosed with cancer, and 8.2 million people lost their fight to the disease. By 2030, 27 million new cancer cases and 17 million cancer deaths will occur each year worldwide?

I'm into salads big time these days...
@pocketechange

10/10

welcome to steemit ,we happy to have you here!!!!
@follow

good post

nice post...I like this brother @donkeypong

That tabouleh looks so good! I'll have to try it. Great post on the politics of food :)

😂😂 I love this post! Parsley rocks my world! I sprinkle it on everything!

Parsley has a good and unique smell. Ussually we use parsley as additional flavour for meatball. Thanks for your info @donkeypong..

Waw.. I also grow parsley in my backyard.. Nice post @donkeypong .. Please upvote my first post at steemit. Thanks..

This is really terrible!
No wonder, I always want to eat raw parsley, but I could never buy fresh bunch of parsley. I feel it is like our green coriander which is suppose to help one detox chemo!

Thanks for this post!
Cheers.