William Southold | Opinion Columnist |The Southold Report
“Speaking fiction to power one story at a time.”
At least 15 presidents have written, or co-written, autobiographies covering the period of their presidency; Trump has no plans to join them.
He has even bigger plans to cement the Trump legacy into the historical zeitgeist. He is planning on overseeing a biopic, tentatively titled “Trump The Conquerer”.
When I got word of this I knew just who to call - LA lawyer Michael “The Burger” Giospani. In the past Mr. Giospani was retained “of counsel” to the president as a “post conviction specialist”, brought in during the Mueller investigation in case things had gone terribly wrong for Trump.
“Oh yeah, it’s practically a done deal. I got the writers, producer, director all lined up. Trump sends me notes about how he wants it all to come together.”
“A screenplay, to be shot . . .”
“On location, some of it. He says if he loses the election don’t worry - he’ll bring us all to D.C. and we start filming there right away, plus at all of his properties where he was during the primaries up ‘til the present. He wants to make sure they all get featured big time, especially Mar-a-Lago.”
“Quite a movie, then.”
“Oh yeah. Says he got no use to waste all this good stuff on a book, a movie is the way to go. He wants full screen credits too, producer, writer, director. A little tricky, but I’m working on it.”
“Even though others are actually . . .”
“Makes no difference to Trump.
“Wow,” I said. “Then it’s all true.”
“Right. The only thing I’m havin’ a little trouble talkin’ him out of - he wants to star in it himself. Says he wants to make sure it’s the biggest Hollywood blockbuster of all time.”
“He wants to act . . . playing himself.”
“The only way to make sure it’s a hit, he tells me.”
I thanked Mr. Burger for his time and information, and he approved me writing this report.
So there you have it - Trump The Conquerer could be in theaters as early as next January, if current polls hold through November.
Central News Service, proudly bringing you the fakest news anywhere, featuring our very own Pulitzer Prize winning Fake Newsman, William Southold
(CNS Disclaimer: Mr. Southold has in no way won the Pulitzer Prize.)
