Trump Finally Convinced To Wear Mask For Press Briefings, But You Probably Won’t Guess Why

in funny •  4 years ago 

William Southold | Opinion Columnist |The Southold Report
“Speaking fiction to power one story at a time.”

There will be a new look for President Trump very soon as he shows up for Press Briefings wearing a mask. His aides have finally convinced him, but not for the reasons you may have thought.

What finally did it? It was an aide who figured out he could mouth obscenities behind the mask that couldn’t be detected by those attending, or the cameras beaming his falsehoods and outright lies to the general public.

“You mean I could curse them out, right to their faces, and get away with it?” Trump asked the aide. “I could say ‘FU’ and they wouldn’t know?”

“That’s what Pence does,” he was assured.

“How about, let me see, you lazy nasty bitch, could I say that?”

At that point Trump was advised to keep his curses short, and practice in the mirror on the longer ones. Trump was so excited about this prospect he immediately went up to his residency quarters to get the hang of it.

Central News Service, proudly bringing you the fakest news anywhere, featuring our very own Pulitzer Prize winning Fake Newsman, William Southold
(CNS Disclaimer: Mr. Southold has in no way won the Pulitzer Prize.)

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