Trump Suffers Tweet Injury But Vows To Carry On

in funny •  4 years ago 

William Southold | Opinion Columnist |The Southold Report
“Speaking fiction to power one story at a time.”

President Trump was secretly rushed to Walter Reed Medical Center in the early morning hours after complaining of swollen, painful thumbs.

Trump has been furiously tweeting insults and conspiracies since Joe Biden announced Sen. Kamala Harris as his running mate, and apparently Obama’s speech at the Democratic convention pushed him over the edge. Angrily tweeting in all caps and pressing too hard on his phone, Trump gave out a sudden cry of pain. He held up his thumbs which had turned a shade of purple seldom seen before.

He was immediately taken to the hospital where he was treated and sent back to the White House. There, he gathered whoever he could find for a ceremony, awarding himself the Purple Thumb Award For Meritorious Tweeting.

Trump plans to join Sean Hannity tonight as they both critique Vice President Biden’s acceptance speech. He promised Hannity that he would demonstrate how he has overcome his injuries by tweeting with his nose.

Central News Service, proudly bringing you the fakest news anywhere, featuring our very own Pulitzer Prize winning Fake Newsman, William Southold
(CNS Disclaimer: Mr. Southold has in no way won the Pulitzer Prize.)
Trump's Purple Thumb Award For Meritorious Tweeting.png
Trump, safely back at the White House and ready to carry on.

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