Our near future

in funny •  7 years ago 

What it continues is a description of what can become ordering a pizza in the USA in a few years.

The correspondent from USA adds that this imaginary dialogue would be very graceful ... But itsn't because it will be real if things keep going the way they are

OPERATOR: Thanks for calling to Pizza Hut. Can I have your National Identification number

CLIENT: ehh ... the fact is that I only want to order a pizza...

OPERATOR: But for that I must have your National Identification number

CLIENT: well ok... my number is ... wait... 610 2049998 - 45 - 54610.

OPERATOR: Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see that you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, your phone is 494 2366, your office is at Lincoln Insurance , the phone is 745 2302, and your cell is 266 2566. And you are calling, I see, from your house.

CLIENT: It is really true ... but: from where are you getting all this information?
OPERATOR: The fact is that we are connected to the NSOS

CLIENT: and what is that?

OPERATOR: The National System of Security. This connection adds only 15 seconds to the time of every order.

well: what pizza does you want?

CLIENT: I wanted two of these ' All meat special pizza '.

OPERATOR: I do not believe that it is a good idea, sir

CLIENT: how? Who says?

OPERATOR: Sir, your medical reports and other sensors indicate us that you are hypertense, and your cholesterol and triglicéridos are already duplicate the acceptable values. The National Insurance of Health does not authorize us to sell you anything that constitutes for you a very dangerous election.

CLIENT: But ... what do you recommend me?

OPERATOR: The ideal thing for you its our ' Low fat pizza of soya. I'm sure that you will love it.

CLIENT: And why do you think i'm gonna love it?

OPE RADOR: The fact is that we see on our screen that last week you consulted in a public library the book: ' beans of soya for the gourmet '. That's why I suggested you the soya pizza.

CLIENT: well ok... Send to me two, large size.

OPERATOR: Perfect. That will be sufficient for you, for your wife and your two sons. And the scraps will serve to feed your two dogs... The whole is 49.99 US$.

CLIENT: Well, take my credit card number...

OPERATOR: I'm sorry sir, you will have to pay in cash. We see that your credit card is completely over the limit.

CLIENT: Don't worry, I will go to the bank to extract some cash.

OPERATOR: I do not believe that it is possible, sir. you will not be able to extract it because your checking account is also over the limit of the available cash.

CLIENT: Come anyway. I have with me the necessary cash in house. And we are hungry: how long it will take?

OPERATOR: We are somewhat behind, approximately 55 minutes . I see that it is close, if you want you can come pick it up in person, although I dont think you wants to carry the pizzas in a motorbike.

CLIENT: and how do you know i wont go in a car?

OPERATOR: It shows on my screen that you behind your payments on your car, so your car was seized by the dealer two months ago. On the other hand your motorbike Harley is already paid and you filled the tank yesterday in the evening.

CLIENT: you know what f$$%%^^&*(()() Mother &(()()___

OPERATOR: I advise you sir, be moderate on your language. I see that you were denounced by a transit police officer 14 months ago for insulting him .... ah, yes ... I see that a judge condemned you to spend three months in prison for that crime... And you went out two weeks ago... And these are the first pizzas that you order since you went out of prision CLIENT: .... (without speech).

OPERATOR: Anything else sir?

CLIENT: Yes. I have a coupon for 2 free cokes

OPERATOR: I'm sorry sir, but if you read our add, in small letters is including a clause that indicates we are inhibited of offering free sodas to diabetics, as the newly sanctioned Constitution indicates it. And you appear in a recent checkup with a beginning of diabetes.
Thank you very much...

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