Last night I had a few drinks with my friends... then I had a few more. My head is a little cloudy so I honestly don't know exactly how I ended up taking a walk down memory lane last night. In between checking out posts here on steemit (sorry for any incoherent replies I left at around 2:00AM), I saw this picture out of the corner of my eye...

Do you see those objects in his rocket launcher? Today we call those "choking hazards". In the 1970s we called them AWESOME!!!!!!

As soon as I saw that image, I was immediately transported back to 1976. Thanks red wine for helping me to make that journey!

In 1976, we only had 5 televisions channels. I will pause to let that sink in for a moment. Only Five.

In fact, you couldn't always receive the fifth channel clearly. It was UHF station 44. Sometimes in order to receive the signal, one had to strategically attach tinfoil and a coat hanger to the regular antenna in order to get a somewhat clear signal. Even then you might need to try positioning the contraption in many different ways before finding the exact spot. But wait there's more! After finding the perfect spot for the makeshift antenna, you had to be careful where you sat. One wrong move by anyone in the room and the picture was gone.

Sounds like a ridiculous hassle in order to access one more television channel... but that was a 25% increase in channels. Think about that. Mind blown!

I would have attached the antenna to my sister's braces if it meant I could watch these shows (actually I probably would have just done that for fun).

More importantly, channel 44 is the station that played reruns of all the bad 1960s cartoons where nothing but the backgrounds moved. Most crucial of all...it also broadcast the coolest shows from Japan including Spectreman, Ultraman (two completely different shows I assure you) and...

Johnny Sokko and His Flying Robot

To a five year old boy, these were the coolest shows in the history of time*. Every kid I knew watched them religiously. As a result, we all fell madly in love with giant Japanese robots.

Recognizing an opportunity to make a tremendous profit from this love affair with giant Japanese robots, Mattel decided to exploit this and create the coolest toys in the history of time*.

Mattel brought us...

As every boy began worshipping Mattel for bringing such greatness into our world, every parent cursed them.

Shogun Warriors cost a whopping $14.99!!!

Wait. That isn't a lot at all. Every parent should have been thrilled. Heck buy two of each so your kid could have extra choking hazards.

See those missiles? They had my sister's name written all over them.

But those are in 1976 dollars. To put things in perspective, in 1976 in the United States...

• Average Cost of new house $43,400.00.
• Average Income per year $16,000.00.
• Average Monthly Rent $220.00.
• Cost of a gallon of Gas 59 cents.

Adjusted for inflation, these toys cost $65 each. Most parents I knew in 1976 had no urge to spend that on their child's entire collection of toys let alone one robot. Stupid responsible parents! (Just don't let my kids hear I said that.)

Luckily for me, my mom had some friends at work who didn't have children of their own. When I wasn't at my grandmas, I hung out at the restaurant at which she worked. I kind of became the unofficial grandchild for many regular patrons of the restaurant. One year for my birthday, they all chipped in and bought me the coolest toy in the history of time!*

Not only did they buy me a Shogun Warrior, they bought me the right Shogun Warrior. They bought me...

I have chills looking at that... I also clearly have problems.

Don't get me wrong, all of these TWO FOOT TALL robots were awesome, but mine was the best.

It is important to note, that no one I knew had more than one of these. No one had the complete set of three. That would be ridiculous. You had to team up with your friends if you hoped to bring the three Shogun Warriors together in one ultimate battle to save the entire universe. Sometimes you made a new friend simply based on him having the missing Shogun Warrior from your group. Sometimes people only pretended to be your friend because you had the coolest Shogun Warrior. (But as long as they brought Godzilla so you had a common enemy to fight... who cares?)

But back to Mazinga. Not only did he have the fiercest looking face, he also had the coolest gear.

Is it just me or is there a choir of angels singing every time I look at this picture?

Mazinga sports a couple of obvious features. He was armed with a sword. It was cool but nothing special. But his other hand... OH MY GOD!!!! It's a freaking rocket launcher! And these weren't the 2017 "safety-first" rockets of today where they just pop out a little and you have to pretend they are actually firing. No these were 1970s "shoot your sister right in her stupid freaking eye" rockets. These were "if you shoot them in your friends mouth... they could actually die" rockets. These were the greatest rockets in the history of time.* And there were TEN of them!

As if life threatening rockets weren't enough, the designers added a couple of more features just to assure this would be the greatest toy in the history of time.*

Do you see that right hand without the rockets. "Huh hum just a boring hand that can hold a sword." No! That hand can be removed so you can pretend that Mazinga has a rocket punch that can knock other robots, Godzilla, or your sister's puny Barbies unconscious.

But wait there's more! Do you see his head? (Of course you do. It is freaking awesome!) That red, black and blue piece sticking out of the top of his head is actually a mini space ship. You can remove that thing and throw it right at your sister's face! (Presumably)

I have no conclusion. I am too hyped up. I will simply thank steemit and all of you for allowing me to indulge myself and take this walk through one of my fondest childhood memories of playing with my giant robot.

Now to check out Ebay...

I know they would be about 120 years old right now... but I wonder if any of my adoptive grandparents are still around and looking for a grandson to spoil.

$150!

Not happening.

What was your favorite toy as a child?

*None of the uses of that phrase are hyperbole. I'm merely stating facts.

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