What did that kid just say?

in funny •  8 years ago 

Recently, my family and I drove to Canada. Along the way, we passed the Indiana Dunes. I had not been there in nearly 20 years. As soon as I saw the sign, I felt a wave of memories rush over me.

The best and most vivid was about a question a five year old child had asked me over 20 years ago.



When I was 21, I began working at a children's home in the suburbs of Chicago. This was the first of two children's homes that I worked at in my early twenties. This particular job was my favorite of my entire life. Although the pay sucked (I barely made over minimum wage) the job was 100% pure fun.

If I had a ton of money, I would have done this job for free.

I was a "summer day worker". This translated to "director of non-stop fun". My 3 coworkers and I were in charege of providing the residents of this children's home with a fun summer. (Yes that is a job.)



There's 104 days of summer vacation... and my "job" was to make them fun!

The residents ranged from 5 to 18 years of age. Although nearly all of them still had families, their home life or neighborhoods were so dysfunctional and negative that their parents decided to allow their children to live in a residential facility. It was honestly one of the most unselfish things a parent could do. I know it killed many parents to not have their children around... but at the home they had access to a safe environment, nutritious food, a great education and caring professionals who could help the residents deal with severe social/emotional issues.

During the school year, the residents all attended excellent public schools. During the summer, they deserved to have a childhood... just like everyone else in the neighborhood.

So I guess my title could have been "childhood facilitator".



It was the best!!!!

Every morning, we arrived and set up morning activities at the grounds of the home. This usually meant we played sports with the older kids (we actually got to participate) and set up games of kick the can or hide and go seek with the younger ones. Both adults and kids had a great time!

Because we wanted to get them off the grounds as much as possible (otherwise they would have been there 24/7) we tried to plan daily afternoon activities.

There was one problem: providing for the daily needs of 50 children was EXPENSIVE. Because the home operated 100% on donations, this did not leave a lot of money to pay for activities.

We typically went to the local pool, festivals, second-run dollar movies... and the Indiana Dunes.



When you grow up in the inner city, this seems like an amazing vacation... and the kids got to take one every week!

The Indiana Dunes were giant sand dunes adjacent to a beach on Lake Michigan. The older kids loved roaming on the dunes while the younger ones enjoyed the beach and water. It was the perfect outing!

Every Friday we took the 90 minute drive to the dunes. The kids loved it! Although it meant a long and hot ride in a van followed by eating sand covered bologna sandwiches, it also meant time to listen to music, hang out and laugh with their fellow residents (think of 50 brothers and sisters) and escape their problems for an afternoon.

Thinking of those trips brought back some amazing memories. I love watching kids having fun. In fact it is one of my favorite sights of summer. But what I loved more was watching kids with horrible back stories and terrible family situations having fun. I will never forget any of those kids.



I actually referred to two of the residents as "Beavis and Butthead"... because they were them! I sill have no idea what their real names were. Not only were the kids flattered by these nicknames, they LOVED them. But that is a different story.

Although every kid is incredibly memorable, there is one story that stands head and shoulders above the others. I still consider it one of the funniest things I have ever experienced. And the event lasted approximately 20 seconds. Those 20 seconds became one of my fondest and unforgettable memories ever.

One hot July day, we had a new five year old resident named Marquel enter the home. He arrived on Thursday at about the same time my shift was ending. I don't even know if I was able to speak to him that first day (Actually I doubt there was any way I spoke to him that day... I would have remembered). But I sure did on his second day.

That conversation was brief... yet unforgettable.

It was Friday... Dunes day.

The ride to the dunes was uneventful. All the residents including Marquel seemed to have a fine time on the trip. When we arrived, the big kids headed for the dunes while the the younger ones made a beeline for the beach. Tiny five year old Marquel joined his new friends.

As my fellow day-workers and I hung out on the beach and supervised the kids, one miniature boy approached us. Because he didn't know any of our names, Marquel approached our group, looked at me and said, "Mister can..."

Wait! I missed a huge detail.

Marquel's voice.

Marquel was 5. Not only was he tiny, he was the smallest kid I had ever seen at the home.

He had an itty bitty body. What's the big deal?

Well Marquel happened to have the deepest and most raspy voice I have ever heard in my entire life. If you are old enough to know who Froggy is from the Little Rascals, imagine Froggy. Now imagine Froggy's voice was 3 octaves lower and he had just gargled with a pound of hot sand.



If you aren't that old, maybe you remember that kid who sang "Chocolate Rain". Even that kid had nothing on miniature Marquel.



Back to the story. Marquel walked up to me (who was basically a total stranger with authority) opened his mouth, channeled Froggy and said,

"Mister, can I throw rocks at people?"


Trying hard not to burst into laughter, I simply said "No."

Marquel grinned and belched, "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease."

I still have no idea how I did it, but I managed not to laugh at his plea. I calmly said, "No Marquel. I appreciate your manners but someone could get hurt. You cannot throw rocks at people."

He replied, "Oh mannnnnnnnnnn" and returned to playing in the water.



The second he was out of earshot and was no longer looking at us, we all burst into laughter.

What was he hoping I'd say? "Well since you were so polite and said 'please' of course you can throw rocks at people. Here, let me help you find some nice big ones. Would you also like to juggle fire, run with scissors, eat those mysterious berries and try to sneeze with your eyes open?"

To this day, it is still the funniest thing any child has ever said to me.

As the summer went on, we all discovered what a great kid Marquel really was. Actually, although I joke about it, a five year old asking before doing something foolish was a pretty good indicator of what a fine young man Marquel would grow up to be.

Luckily for me, I was able to find out first hand. Ten years after the famous attempted rock throwing incident, Marquel attended the high school at which I was teaching. He was enrolled in my World History class. He had grown into a wonderful teenager... and he never once asked if he could throw anything at his classmates.

What is the funniest thing a kid has ever said to you?


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Well at least he asked nicely to toss rocks at people lol.

Exactly. So polite. I felt bad saying "no".

Hahahahah! Well he could have just started throwing them and asked after lol.

Funny post, I enjoyed reading it :) I would love hear the "Beavis and Butthead" story about the two residents. I used to watch that show a lot back in the 1990s when MTV showed more less reality programming.

Those were a couple of funny kids.

I bet they were especially if you gave them that nickname :)

Another great post. Thanks for sharing!!

If I can recall a silly child question or comment I will be sure to add it here, but as of right now I'm still waiting on my morning coffee and am lucky enough to function at a level to write this post. Cheers!

LOL. Enjoy your coffee!

On my flight this morning, a mother was traveling with her 3 sons. The kids were all very well behaved throughout the whole flight. The mother was sitting next to one son, possibly the eldest, and the middle and youngest sons were sitting a row behind them.

After landing at our destination, the youngest, maybe 10 years old, asked his 15? yr old brother "can I knock you out?" A very nonchalant question, but hysterical in the tone of voice he said it, because it was so sincere! After a few gentle laughs and a "no" response from his mother, he says that he planned to knock him out with a head butt!

Randomly a few minutes later, the same young boy mentioned that he heard somewhere that when you bump your head, you can lose ONE brain cell. At this point, I'm trying not to 😂.

That was a very amusing start to my day!

That is awesome! The lack of a brain to mouth filter can be very funny.

hey. the funniest thing for me was "do all kids stay like this or will this ever change?"

LOL. that is a great question. I think the answer is ... "it depends".

We should always keep the ability to be a kid once again...

" your so handsome " that the most funniest i ever heard that kids said to me :D

LOL

i hope u like it ROFL :D

Well, at least he was polite enough to go ask a grown-up for permission, I've been around a lot of children that would've just done it without caring.

His politeness really made it even more memorable.

Great story, funny kid, and happy 'ending'. It doesn't get much better than that!

Oh, and I hope you waved when you went by. The Dunes are 10 minutes from me... ;~D

Cool. Do you go often? Or doe sit lose its novelty living so close?

I have a couple clients out there, so a few trips (paid, yay!) a year is enough to tide me over. Awesome views of Chicago across the Lake on a clear day, too.

The nephew saw a small horse and asked: Is this such a big dog? :)

I've been to the Indiana dunes! Even was interviewed for the nightly news one time when we were there. A bunch of us college kids were throwing frisbee, and I was hopping around with one leg in a cast. My 15 seconds of fame. They must have misprinted my phone number when they gave it to all the talent agents, because I never got a call.

My favourite was my nephew who likes to chase me around yelling 'garlic burps'. Welcome to Canada, hope you have a great visit!

LOL! "Garlic burps". Sure why not?

"You're going to die"
Right before he ran into me with a wooden sword and tried to stab me in the stomach.
Damn he hurt me, I had to pretend he didn't but that 4-5 y/o really surprised me.
Context : Carnival at my town school, I was in charge of some animations.

Oh man. That is crazy! Hope you didn't get injured too badly.

This gave me a good laugh this morning. Thanks for the chuckle :D

My pleasure.

Funniest thing a kid asked me was !
Mike if someone cuts off his arm does it
grew back like the trees when you cut some
branches off ?

SteemOn :))

Oh man. I hope he never tries to find out.

no worries, explained humans are no trees and it doesent work this way !
But wouldent it be great if we just need light like the plants and trees
photosynthesis to stay alive ? and wouldent it solve many problems
that we face in our days with so many people starving on our planet ?
And wouldent the Elite who enslaved Humanrace lose all there Power
over us ? just thinking :) Love God Love each other !

I remember visiting such a place but it was for orphans. My brother and I spent a week because my our mom was volunteering at there. It was so much fun playing and the funny stories they would share. Seeing so many of my less fortunate peers enjoying and appreciating the life they had, has made me this appreciative guy many years later. This has taken me down an amazing memory lane I haven't been to in a while. Thank you for sharing this @hanshotfirst.

That is so cool that your mom volunteered there and you got to know some of the kids.

We were in my summer house with my family including my grandson Nathaneil (who will soon be on Steemit) and somebody has left his dirty plate on the dinner table.

So, I asked:

  • Whose plate is this?

And Nathaneil, who was 8 years old at the time, answered:

  • Technically, it's yours.

Brilliant! And gutsy!

This story is hilarious. At least he asked you before doing it! I wonder if he had thrown rocks at people before, lol. It is so cool that you not only got to work with so many kids, buy that you enjoyed it so much! I am sure they did, too. 😊
My two year old has been expanding his vocabulary a lot lately, so he has said some pretty funny things. Yesterday he asked me, "what the heck is that?" And he asked it about everything. I tried so hard not to laugh. Then he asked me if there was a baby in his tummy (because he knows there is one in mine). Kids bring so much joy and laughter. 😄

That is hilarious! Kids can pick up anything.

Congratulations on the next one!

Thank you! 😊

First time when i felt smell on my nephew (14 year old kid), back in Serbia, on recently smoked pot... I've asked him a trick question:"My dear nephew, why your eyes are so red? Have you done something?".

Funnies answer ever: "Uncle, if you are asking me that, you probably havent looked yourself at the mirror recently!" hahahahhahahahhahahha

He had that dead serious look in his eyes that i've burst to laugh instantly! I never told his mom (my sister) even though i knew she would be laughing to tears as well

For a 14 years old! Win

LOL. That was some quick thinking.

I had a kid in gr 5 class that wanted to sit under my table. It was the only way I could get him to actually give any attention so I let him. Gosh I've heard some funny things in my lifetime...but I will never forget the kid that wanted to sit under my table.

That is a pretty good one. But hey... whatever works. LOL

Great post when I was a student I also worked at a children's home during the holiday. I found it very satisfying and it was nice to give something back to them because I had so much to be thankful for.

It really was an amazing experience. I'm glad you did as well.

I was working in a store, and a kid came up to the checkout and asked if I sold purple orange juice. I think he meant grape juice! haha

LOL. That is real funny.

It made my whole day at the checkout bearable! haha

I have a very short one, from my little one. I was away for a week and he was looking for me. At some point he pointed the computer and said dad. He then moved to my office and said 'dad'. He finally pointed the whiskey bottle...

What a reputation ^^

You should be very proud of that one! At least it wasn't the garbage can!

Indeed! I have never seen it that way, when thinking about the garbage bin... :D

Nice post again han - some nice insight into you! You being the fun loving bloke whom does question the Han Solo's role in the Mos Eisley Cantina 'duel'.

Thanks! I have been lucky to have some really cool experiences.

Will you be heading back to steemit chat at all Han?

Something weird happened with my chat. I lost 3 days of messages. I'm there now. If I missed something, can you resend?

Enjoyed reading this - bless your heart for the good work you do with kids.

Thanks!

The kids were awesome. Some of the strongest people I have ever met.

Your job was really a fun. I think there should be more donations to run it properly, even government can raise money by some non profit means. You were having a really great time.

Thanks! We made do. We just had to be very creative.

lol

Lol 😂 Fun 😁

LoLx "Please"

I started watching porn movies when I was 8 years old :| and now they tell me why u like girls that much ... not my fault :p

i like and resteem you post master @hanshotfirst.
thank you for sharing,Ask permission for resteem master.

:D :D :D nice :D :D

This is so incredible!!! Following you!
Makes me want to go and work the same type of job in my community <3

  ·  8 years ago (edited)

Hahahaha...wait...hahahaha! I'm dying, I doubt if I can think of something funnier, especially an inquiry, yes inquiry definitely suits that better than question LOL!!!