Flatulencea Part 1

THE FLATULENCEANS

On a Planet, far the fuck away in another solar system a race of beings are desperately trying to maintain life on their planet, just as they have known it to be since the beginning of time.
The inhabitants engulfed in life and death struggle, their Sun has been rapidly losing power and for the last 2,000 years has needed a nuclear fusion, a process of refueling the Sun energy lasting only 500 years per fusing periods. Also, the daily energy consumption used to power such a highly advanced civilization has strained the most precious fuel supplies.
Generating an asstronomical thirst for fuel, a never-ending quest for their need to replenish their fuel inventory and more importantly save their dying Sun.

For nearly three years now, a fleet of nuclear powered intergalactic highly compressed fuel tankers has been dispatched collecting their most desired Roundcrack fuel. The Impactor, The Secretor, The Shit Star Tanker and two other ships were sent out to gather this fuel from all reaches of the universe.
Powered by a device called the A.G.E. Machine, (Ass Gas Extractor) an advanced technology that converts highly compress methane gas into nuclear energy.
“The Quest is to find the perfect gas producing Ass.
Legend has it that there is a great Ass out there somewhere so Damn enormous and funky. That just one fart can supply enough power to reenergize the Flatulenceans failing Sun. So, the search continues, Always looking for a new Ass, a more explosive ASS, a bigger more potent longer lasting Ass,
Searching for the Biggest, Smelliest,0
Paint Peeling, Lung Clogging, Heart Stopping Ass,
ever to be inflamed by any being.”
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:

The Flatulencean’s fleet tanker Commanders sees finding this fuel as the only answer to their life and death struggle, for the very existence of their civilization relies directly on their success. Strange alien life forms traveling to interplanetary systems collecting their fuel sources at all cost.

As it relates to not failing on this mission the Shit Star Tanker Commander is also expedition leader, he and the other space tanker Commanders all have one thing in common, cold killer instincts for without doubt failure equals death and destruction for their planet Flatulencea, their civilization, and their families.

On this present voyage, the space tanker is approaching load capacity there is only room for one more surface extractions each (roughly about another thousand Asses.

After spending nearly three years, in the earth atmosphere, it is almost time for the tanker fleet to return home with a bountiful harvest.

Fade in:
INT. ONBOARD THE SHIT STAR INTERGALACTIC SPACE TANKER

The Space Tankers Fleet High Commander an oddly shaped hulking alien figure that peculiarly has no nose is setting in the HOLOGRAM COMMUNICATION STATION conversing in their own languish to the alien being’s home planet, seemingly bragging on his successful mission.

FLUSH ONE
(boastingly)
Supreme Ones I am happy to inform you that nearly all the fleet tankers are full beyond capacity. One more good harvest of Ass’s/ Roundcrack and we will soon be starting our return journey home with the most excellent load of fuel since the discovery of this harvest sector.

SUPREME ONES
(proudly)
We will order all preparations for your arrival to celebrate and honor you and your fleet commanders, advising all of the fleet’s long-awaited return to Flatulencea.

A HIGHLY DECORATED YOUNG OFFICER ENTER THE ROOM
FLUSH TWO is the first born of FLUSH ONE a loyal young male Flatulencean officer ready to do whatever he can for the sake of Flatulencea, following in his dad military footsteps currently serving as A.G.E. Space Tanker Chief Ass Regulator onboard the Shit Star Tanker.

FLUSH TWO
Father, the Grand Wizard Obi, has completed the new Roundcrack Locator.
FLUSH ONE
Good, you can test it on the last harvest before we head home.
If you do well son, you will soon be the commander of this great ship. Prepare the locator machine and give the harvest coordinates to the other Space Tanker Commanders.

FLUSH TWO
Right away Commander.

EXT: OUTSIDE TANKER VIEW, CAMERA PULL BACK, SHOWING ALL FIFTY SPACE TANKERS WITH THE WORLD /EARTH IN THE BACKGROUND.

Flush One is aggressively collecting Roundcrack load after load, being hail on his planet as the best Roundcrack catcher ever.
The New locator device is set on large Ass/ Roundcrack only. The indicator is suggesting that there is some form of large Ass / Roundcrack migration.
Flush One decides to let the Roundcrack gather and then select the preferred super-sized Ass’s, the best ones for long term gas productions.

INT: ON EARTH

In the year 2030, the meltdown of the international monetary system force by unchecked greed, gluttony, and repetitive regulatory failures set off economic catastrophes leading to global poverty levels never known to modern man.
The complete failure of the United Nations and the total collapse of nearly all national governments including local, city, state, federal and continental governments as a whole was next to crumble.
The survival of the human race was now in jeopardy, triggering an outcry for global unity to reverse the ill effects of power crazed corrupt politics.

In 2048 the ideology of localized national government was violently opposed forcing a global reconfiguration of the then World Powers giving birth to the formation of The N.W.O.C the New World Order Coalition.

The N.W.O.C did away with the untruth of politrix, completely redesigning governmental control, evolving into a global humanitarian government, the global controller of finance, economics, pollution and climate oversight. All as a strategy to do everything for the goodwill of the global citizenry of the N.W.O.C.
The New World Order Coalition made up from a globally elected council of 13 members that govern all of the earth affairs.
Their core purpose is to maintain World peace, security, and commerce, sustaining a rising, lasting quality of life for all.

INT: NWOC MEETING
The story starts on Earth, year 3007, location, the headquarters of the NWOC. A high-level conference is on the way, and all coalition members gather watching the world news reports on the global hologram displays, reviewing the growing unrest over the long-term disappearances of many global citizens of the New World Order Coalition. The World community is calling for the N.W.O.C. to do something about this problem immediately.

NWOC COALITION MEMBER #1
There are alarmingly too many reports from around the world of this high rise in missing persons, reported from all over the globe. People are reported to be vanishing without a trace, no ransom note, no demands for exchange, absolutely nothing.
In the last FIFTY years, the missing person count has now reached into the tens of millions, the citizenry of the N.W.O.C. will fall apart if we can not show our capability to protect them.
For certain this will lead to a New World War. The East is starting to suspect the West and the South is starting to accuse the North of these shameful inhumane acts, fueling rumors of the onset of a new slave trade.
We the New World Order Coalition cannot fail; we have to find what evil plan has been put into effect and by whom. 900 plus years of global peace is at risk, and this will destabilize our World security. The N.W.O.C. must put an end to the kidnappings and rescue all of the victims returning this large number of N.W.O.C. citizens at all cost to their homes in each sector of the globe.

N.W.O.C. COALITION MEMBER #2
It is clear that the mass disappearing is diabolical in nature and is much larger than we first feared.
We must call in our best for this mission; there is no choice, we must rescue the people from captivity.

N.W.O.C. COALITION MEMBER #3
This is a matter that must stay under the N.W.O.C. authority and control. All activity must be reported directly to the Coalition.

N.W.O.C. COALITION MEMBER # 1
Let me introduce you to Commander Patterson head of the Global Bureau of Investigation the G.B.I.

COMMANDER PATTERSON
I have been briefed and understand the urgency,
I will put my highly Advanced Android Agents better know as. The Triple A (A.A.A.) Brigade on the case immediately.

N.W.O.C. COALITION MEMBER #2
Commander, we have something a little different in mind. Because of the gravity of this mission, it calls for our very best. We have been working on a secret project that will be very useful in this situation Special Agent Three FIFTY Seven, a super agent, created totally from stem cells.
Genetically engineer in our research stem cell lab, a fully grown adult human activated in year 3003. Programmed with MAC 3 brain enhanced software version Z57, engineered with high sensory perception capability, an exceptionally well-trained people tracker.
Agent Three FIFTY Seven is enhanced with advanced software upgrades still in experimental stages, and he is 100% human.

Agent Three FIFTY Seven info and facts are, he is one of 7,000 Human made from stem cells. He has no family history or background. Created in a Petri dish and then incubated into skin and muscle assemble in our lab.
The trickiest part was turning the stem cells into brain matter. Before getting all the bugs out, there were abnormalities with some of the first production batches of stem cell human.

Agent Three FIFTY Seven will first appear at the lab of the NWOC Headquarter where he is getting the latest upgrades. His DNA tracking software is uploaded into his brain through his eyes. His Nanotechnology hardware inter-phase updates by crawling into his iris and simply plugging itself in the rear of his eye sockets. His only obvious short coming is always trying to prove that he is just as good as any human delivered through a normal pregnancy.

NWOC COALITION MEMBER #1

Agent Three FIFTY Seven is a train people tracker; he can find the last location, even the lingering scent of a missing person, able to test for DNA through his taste buds and nostrils. In the last four years since his activation, he has never failed on a mission.
As of 1200 hours, this day Agent Three FIFTY Seven is reassigned to the B.G.I.s

Commander Patterson does not like Agent Three FIFTY Seven because he does not consider him to be a real human, he doesn't trust in the loyalties of a Stem Cell made persons. Commander Patterson believes that it is an evil plot of international terrorism that is trying to destabilize world peace.
He believes that Agent Three FIFTY Seven is not capable of dealing with this missing person epidemic. He will oppose all endeavors possibly sabotaging the character of Agent Three FIFTY Seven hoping that Agent Three FIFTY Seven fails and is most likely capture himself by the earth kidnapping terrorist.

B.G.I.’s Commander Patterson reluctantly gives this mission of rescue to Agent Three FIFTY Seven over his preferred Androids.
Usually, Agent Three FIFTY Seven works alone, but now he is forced to team up with B.G.I.’s newest Android DIGI. Primarily so that Commander Patterson can keep a set of eye’s and ears on all of Agent, Three FIFTY Seven actions and movement.
Digi is a beautiful Hi-Tec Android an overly qualified sidekick with the body of a dancer, extremely flexible and athletic. DIGI will prove to be Agent Three FIFTY Seven most valuable ally, programmed to assist Three FIFTY Seven’s every possible need, with strength and intellect that at times even surpasses Agent Three FIFTY Seven abilities.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:

Beyond completing this mission Agent Three FIFTY Seven's top concern is proving his value and worthiness to be fully accepted as a complete human being. Not just some lab engineered freak, know as the world greatest human tracker, now to be employed by the G.B.I.

Assign to this case because of the possible Global repercussion.

Secretly Commander Patterson hopes that Agent Three FIFTY Seven fucks-up and make a mess of this rescue, for Commander Patterson, has an escalating hatred, prejudice, and mistrust of Three FIFTY Seven’s particular kind of human, not of a normal birth but a stem cell kind of guy.

INT.IN THE HALLWAY AT NWOC -SAME DAY

COMMANDER PATTERSON
Well get started, I want to see you at B.G.I.’s Headquarter in two hours time.
Intelligence mainframe, global satellites, staff, and agents will all be available to assist you. But!, Agent Three FIFTY Seven don’t you fuck this up, or I will personally make sure you stem cell boys never get a job in our world above a fucking janitor, mopping floors in a stinking sewage treatment plant.
Get it clear Stem Cell Man, if you fail, then you’ve just guaranteed the 9th World War.

AGENT Three FIFTY Seven

Yes Sir.

AGENT Three FIFTY Seven
(Agent Three FIFTY Seven turns and walks away, saying in a low voice)
What! an Ass hole

INT. AGENT Three FIFTY Seven AT B.G.I.’S HEADQUARTER-SAME DAY

After studying the facts of the global Kidnapping, thru clever deduction Agent Three FIFTY Seven will determine who is the target of the kidnappers. Through a data survey of all of the individual cases, comparing all similarities, time's and locations even the weather, thru satellite pictures Agent Three FIFTY Seven will search for all possible patterns.
Agent Three FIFTY Seven soon arrives at the understanding that there are always atmospheric occurrences surrounding the kidnappings, developing 8 hours before and clearing up right after. Eventually, the similarities are too strong to be coincidental.
To get to the bottom of the disappearing people from earth, Agent Three FIFTY Seven plans his kidnapping and assumes the appearances of an obese person, for that seem to be the common denominator.
Back at BGI headquarter their scientific geeks will turn Agent Three FIFTY Seven into an oversized tempting plus size piece of bait with a hidden compartment for Digi to tuck away in.
Injecting him with MOTOX, an advance substance of Botox inflating his body to a synthetic obesity so that he could use himself as bait to try out his theory.
In the meanwhile G.B.I. is monitoring global weather patterns and atmospheric occurrences, taking the computed locations of high probability.

INT: AT THE GLOBAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (G.B.I)

AGENT Three FIFTY Seven
I will need any and all data to check for possible patterns, available photo, blood type last know locations, individual habits, satellite imagery the works.

INT: AT THE GLOBAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (G.B.I)
5 HOURS LATER STILL WORKING HARD

AGENT Three FIFTY Seven
I was able to isolate some patterns, by using satellite imagery Zeroing in on demographic locations of atmospheric disturbances and irregular weather occurrences taking place at the exact time as the records indicate of the kidnappings.
The missing person’s cases have only one thing in common.
They all were large plus size people of all ages, races, and sex missing from around the world.
I am sure these patterns will allow us to develop a plan to intercept the next mass kidnapping. To get to the bottom of the disappearing of our People, I will use myself as bait.

COMMANDER PATTERSON
(cackle and then whisper to Digi)
HA! Ha! Ha! HA! Ha! Ha! Our people? HA! Ha! Ha!
This guy was assembled in a toilet bowl, and he says, our people!
What I like about you Androids is, at least you know your place.

DIGI

Yes! Commander.

DIGI
(DIGI turns and walks away, saying in a low voice)
What! an Ass hole

DIGI

Agent Three FIFTY Seven, I have entered your information and data into my internal CPU, and there is exactly the kind of weather anomaly with the same variables as those that you requested developing now, right now!

AGENT Three FIFTY Seven

Digi check BGI’S earth Intellinet, See if there are any happenings, you know mass events, conventions or rally’s in the next day or so.

DIGI

I will scan the global event postings.

DIGI
(30 seconds later)

In the global sector formally know as Europe, Old Italy to be exact, there is the annual food festival. THE ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET CRUISES, an official gathering of international eating clubs.
Food lovers from around the world will be there. It’s Extreme extensive collection of obese people including “The Big Girls’ Gone, Hog Wild” plus size bikini contest, Sponsor by the Eat, Shit and Sleeps Full Body Covers Corporation.

Old Italy is the next targeted computed location

AGENT Three FIFTY Seven

Digi! We going on a vacation have G.B.I. set up a satellite office in Old Italy and pack your bags.

The team heads off to set the trap.

EXT: OLD ITALY BEACH -DAYTIME

Agent Three FIFTY Seven lays out in the Italian sunshine, tempting all takers wearing nothing but a shiny reflective thong. The weather condition is turning bad, from the middle of these dark clouds tornado like water spouts are reaching down to the ground. Everyone begins running, frantically scrambling for cover. But no one sees the surgical like precision that people are pickup by these funnel clouds shape water spouts.

Agent Three FIFTY Seven is caught off guard, to get out of the weather, he dashes for cover. As he runs with the glittering thong on, it was similar to the big fish that sees a quick glimmering flash of live bait, striking with awe.

Agent Three FIFTY Seven was gone instantly, falling out of B.G.I.’s tracking devices capability, gone without a trace. Agent Three FIFTY Seven never knew what hit him. He and others were captured brought onboard a space tanker than gassed immediately, knocked out cold.

INT: AGENT Three FIFTY Seven ONBOARD THE SPACE TANKER