Absolutely funny quote that will make you laugh

I saw this somewhere and it makes me smile.. 

1. Most of the guys that say they don't date fat girls have fat mothers. Be humble like your dad _________________ 

2. It's better to sit in a bar thinking about God than to sit in a church thinking about beer _______________ 

3. Have you ever been next to people who gossip so much that you're even scared of leaving them cause you know you're next _______________ 

4. The man who marries a beautiful woman and the farmer who grows corn by the roadside have the same problem... __________________ 

5. Some females are so afraid of killing cockroaches but they already did 5 abortions __________ 

6. You will see a 13 year old girl posting stuff like "I want to forget everything and move on" forget what little sister?... (The multiplication table?) _____________ 

7. A man is the head of the family, & a woman is the neck that turns the head (smiles) _______________ 

8. Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that wipes your buttocks today may wipe your face tomorrow (Real fact) _________________ 

9. If a girl dumps you because you don't have money and after you have made money... She comes back begging... My brother... Forgive her... Promise her marriage... Tell her family that you want to renovate their house... Remove their roof and DISAPPEAR _____________ 

10. When you see a poor man eating chicken, he is either sick or the chicken was sick ( I am a witness).

Which number makes u smile??? Upvot and comment pls to make fun