Oh Jealous Earth

in funny •  7 years ago 

jealousy.jpg

Earth: You came back! Oh how I missed you.

Sun: I know, I’m sorry it took so long.

Earth: Well, did you miss me? I laid in darkness for hours thinking about you.

Sun: Of course I missed you.

Earth: The moon told me she saw you talking to Venus.

Sun: Honey, we work together I have to talk to her.

Earth: Well do you love her?

Sun: We’ve been through this.

Earth: I know, sorry. It’s just that yesterday, you seemed so distant; you never said a word the whole day. It was like this fog had fallen between us. We are committed, you and I. If this is going to work we need to be able to depend on each other. I’m not asking for too much am I?

Sun: Honey, you are a sphere, I can only see so much of you.

Earth: Are you calling me fat?

Sun: No, of course not, it’s just that you are always spinning;

Earth: Oh, so I’m too emotional for you?

Sun: No, no, I love you just the way you are.

Earth: What’s that supposed to mean?

Sun: Sigh…

Earth: Urghhhh. You are so self-centered. You don’t know what it’s like being me. I have continents you know. There’s water everywhere.

Sun: I know honey. I love you and your continents. You are very special to me.

Earth: You are such a warm guy you know that?

Sun: Hey, how about a nice sunset.

Earth: Wait, what? Where are you going? Don’t you walk away from me. If you go over that hill, don’t bother coming back.

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4billion years later......

Sun: Look, I am swelling! Enjoy my hot temperature warm up your heart!

Earth: WTF! Get away from me yo are swallowing me you pervert!

Hahaha yeah right!