Get a bit of humor in your day!

in funny •  7 years ago 

It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day to day basis. – Margaret Bonnano 

Holidays for Today:
~ Dumbstruck Day
~ Everything You Think is Wrong Day
~ Ides of March
~ International Day Against Police Brutality
~ National Pears Helene Day
~ World Consumer Right's Day

A Joke for Today!

 A client recently brought her two cats in to my husband’s veterinary clinic for their annual checkup. One was a small-framed, round tiger-striped tabby, while the other was a long, sleek black cat. She watched closely as I put each on the scale. 

“They weigh about the same,” I told her.

“That proves it!” she exclaimed. “Black does make you look slimmer. And stripes make you look fat.” 

A Picture for Today:

Wildflowers! This is  Trillium cuneatum

These unusual wildflowers are native to the southeastern United States.

How about a PUN-ny joke for today?

 After a heavy day’s digging at the archaeological site in Norway, the researchers uncovered a priceless statue of the ancient Norse thunder god.It was a wondrous piece of artwork – He had bulging muscles, and imposing stance, and of course his famous giant hammer.

But most important of all, the eyes in his fierce-looking face were made of two giant rubies that glittered with a brilliant red colour.

Of course, the two leading archaeologists on the dig were both determined that they should be the one to have their name listed against the discovery, and pretty soon the argument was intensifying to the point where the rest of the team, despite being exhausted after the day’s work, started to gather round to watch.

The two of them continued squabbling for some time, and they provided the others with a great source of amusement for the evening, and by the time they finally gave up and called a truce, everyone else was feeling quite refreshed by the entertainment.

As the crowd dispersed, one junior digger turned to his friend, and said:

“Well, that was a fight for Thor eyes.” 

(Yeah, I know ............ boo, hiss..... but puns are SUPPOSED to make you groan!)

A Bit of Trivia for Today:

What are some other names for Trillium cuneatum (the wildflowers in the picture above)? 

Blooming in early March to mid April, the wildflower Trillium cuneatum is commonly known as little sweet Betsy, or whip-poor-will flower, large toadshade, purple toadshade, and bloody butcher.  Not very flattering names I'm afraid!

A little quip:

 Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear. 

And one last quote for the day:

 I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can’t see from the center. – Kurt Vonnegut, Jr 

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