Help! I'm Being Followed!

in funny •  7 years ago 

@NoNamesLeftToUse The Writer/Artist Himself here with an
Emergency Broadcast Thing!

help.jpeg

Ahhhhhhhh!

 
My shrink told me it's about time I took the tinfoil off the windows! So I did!

I started opening and closing the blinds like a normal person again! Everything was fine! I spent three hours every night peeking through the cracks just to be sure! There was nobody out there except for on Tuesday and I'm still waiting for that lady to come back and pick up her dog shit! I refuse to go outside until then! I yelled at her, barked at her dog, and all they did was run away! Morons!

I got bored sitting inside attempting to act normal! I just sat in my chair, staring at the wall! I didn't want anyone on the outside to become suspicious if they walked past and saw me doing anything else! I don't need any more cops here! I was afraid to blink!

I Decided to Turn On My Computer!

First, I made sure the coast was clear! Then I dropped down on the floor and slithered across the room like a snake! I even made that hissing sound! There were a few occasions when I had to pause and pretend I was invisible! I thought someone was outside! It worked!

Three hours later, I finally reached the coffee table! That was the last known location of my laptop! It wasn't there! I thought someone stole it!

I called my shrink to yell at her! She said, "This is a bad time!"

I then proceeded to slide to the kitchen to get more window foil when I noticed the computer was actually on the coffee table, but under a few books that I've been meaning to read! I haven't had the time! I'm a busy guy! Got shit to do!

I Logged On and Saw This!

Screenshot (219).png

Every Time I Look at that Photograph, I Pee A Little Bit!

If I wanted a golden shower, I'd go to that massage parlor I used to frequent and visit Tina! She used to be a ballerina! Or maybe that was Gina! I wish you could have seen her!

I'm not allowed inside that building anymore! How was I supposed to know where it would land! Don't put your face so close next time! That's why they invented safety goggles! Wear them!

Over Six Hundred People are Following Me!

I'm freakin' out, man!

The Little Blue Baby Alien Things are Going to Lick Us All!

Six Hundred.jpeg

Run for your lives!

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Credits:
All images seen here were produced digitally, by me.
"Thanks everyone. 600 is pretty damn cool!"
[email protected]

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I can take you out my To Follow list

Probably not a wise move. You'll need my help fending off these blue baby alien things. Windex works, but not without the secret weapon.

I have 50 x followers ready to follow,
20 x Faithful
One of them is you. Lol

I do my best to work hard on posts and then get out there to vote. I follow a lot of people and it's hard to get to everyone. I'm sure they feel the same way, because I have over 600 followers and nowhere near that many views. I don't take it personally though. Just keep my chin up and keep posting.

I still remember when you had my back last October when I was attacked with flags for being, well... me! I won't forget that.

Ahhhhhhhhh!

That's the thing that lives on the other side of the peephole!

When you can't remember who peed on you, you know you're doing it right! :D Thanks for the post! This made me lol on my lap. Now I have to clean it up...

Don't use napkins! Use a towel, wash it! Save a tree, dry out a pond instead!

Congrats on the followers hombre. I have always said you were capable of great things. You just needed an outlet for your creativity! This is definitely the non censored channel for you to express yourself! Happy Steeming bud!

Dude, this place is probably one of the greatest things to drop out of nowhere and fall into my lap since that Tina chick. Or was it Gina? Anyway, you were right! They actually allow me to let my crazies out here. This place is genius!

You could be a modern day "What About Bob".

That's one of my favorite movies and comedians all bunched up into one neat little package. It would be awesome to write something and have someone like that act it out on the screen. A man can dream!

It could be the the first of a "Steemit Original" film. :)

You can put the tinfoil back up....but we won't go away

Stop dressing like the lawn! I can't see you!

Shhh....nothing to see...move along...

Just to let you know. We were all watching while you were constiposted. Don't be embarrassed it happened with an audience. It happens to the best. Kind of like The Truman Show in ways.

This is why I put tape over my webcam! Next time I'll be using the nontransparent stuff! You'll see! Or wait... no you won't!

LOL, this was a great read dude, congrats on the followership @nonameslefttouse! That massage parlor alone likely contributed a vast majority to the 600 :) as you were...

That massage parlor has their hand in everything, if you know what I mean. Thanks a lot! I had fun writing that.

Haha, I think I know what you mean, we'll just go ahead and leave that alone though :) You're a creative force, it's great to see that. Most importantly you enjoy it, which makes it all the better, and it really shines through in your writing.

Thanks for noticing. It's a challenge some days. What I do doesn't already exist on Google. Everything starts from scratch. I do enjoy this, and it helps when people recognize what's truly going on here. I appreciate that comment.

Your more than welcome, you've got style and I can appreciate the work you put into a post like this and your images too. Have a great day dude!

😂😂...Run for cover!...wish my followers are active as yours🤕.
Can i indugle your professional writing experience and check this post i just made out, no one is reading it and i don't know why😢

It takes time to build up a following. I've been here since September, 2016. My early days were the same. Just be consistent. I write something up everyday, at least once. I focus on art, entertainment and humor, which tends to appeal to wide range of people. I'm often unpredictable, which helps keep people on their toes, possibly wondering what's next. Other than that, I don't know. I'm just chillin', being myself, trying to have a good time. I can't say if I'm doing anything the "right" way. That's not up to me.

As for linking your work here... doing that is usually frowned upon. Go to the chat and place the link to your work in the appropriate channels. That helps. Other than that, just work hard, keep plugging away. The more you put out there, the easier it is to get noticed.

i appreciate this a lot!

You got me..I'm about to read it...

Nice of you buddie, you are the man!

In a woman's body! Lol cool post for real. I'm following you too now...( jaws theme )

Thanks for the Humor, Just what the Doctor ordered LOL
A good day just got better, thanks to you !

My Signature Post ---> Potential Followers Please Click HERE to get started All reply's & feedback Cherished :-)

Thank you for enjoying this. When one writes humor, they never know if it's funny until later. Comments like yours go a long way. Even something so simple as an LOL is a damn near perfect response! Thanks again.

I see people in the funny/comedy department doing so well here ( good following ) quick to read, and laughter is the best medicine :-)
1 guy doing meme's just cranks them out all day and gets 30 - 50 per post !
I'm more a philosophy helper/healer and life story teller. slower to read and not a huge following, but I'm happy just getting some out, and reading reply's.
Thank you for yours
Now go on.....make me laugh LOL

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Very funny

Well done, 600 is awesome

Thanks.

Congratulations on having so many followers.

Thanks a lot!

Good job!

Thank you.

I'm following you, from a far distance back. So that's why I don't get to your posts right away. It's more like tracking an animal this way. ; )