Garbage Pail Kids Galore

Fellow Steemians and Generation Xers, I present to you a mere fraction of my Garbage Pail Kids trading cards that I've been holding onto since I was 10 years old in 1985.

So am I like, a total dork or what?

For those with a keen eye, you'll notice that these are all the original series, as well as some buttons and large stickers all from the good ol days except for the stack in the far back left corner. Those I bought about 10 years ago on ebay thinking that I was getting original series 1 from America, but it turned out they were the British cards which are much smaller. Kind of a bummer but better than nothing I suppose.

When these cards came out, they were an absolute hit with just about every kid that I knew with the exception of the odd prude and grossed out girl. There were only 2 items banned in our school by the end of 1985: Garbage Pail Kids, and Now and Later candies. I specifically remember the principal getting on the intercom really angry saying "Okay, kids. I've had enough with these trash can cards and alligator candy! No more!"

Of course we all burst into laughter and knew exactly what he meant. But this just created an even funnier underground GPK trading network.. Most kids would give you a pack of Now and Laters for a Blasted Billy or a Leaky Lindsay.

You may also notice in the above photo that there is a plastic card box full of gum. Well, I ate a few of them when I started opening packs, but decided they tasted like crap and for some reason kept them. Very oddly, in 2018 the gum still looks the same as the day that I took it out of the package! Probably a really good thing that I didn't chew it.

Working on organizing by series

So a little back story on why I have every 80s card except for about 1/2 of the first series. There was this girl in my class who absolutely coveted my 1st series collection. I know that sounds weird, but I don't know how else to describe it. She literally sent me love letters and little notes that ended "By the way, when are you gonna give me some GPKs?"

One day, we went out to recess, and I noticed that she was nowhere to be seen. When I went back in, I looked in my desk and all of my cards were gone. I immediately looked at her. She was grinning all guilty like, so I ran straight for her desk. As soon as I grabbed the lid of her desk she started screaming at the top of her longs. "Leave me alone! Stop it!"

Of course the teacher immediately jerked me up off the ground and started to scold me. I started flailing and yelling incoherently so they sent me to the office. By the time I got back, the cards were gone. To this day, I have no idea where she hid them for the rest of the school day.

So yeah, that's what happened! I was a little angry inside for another 20 years. Don't judge me!

After a Cabbage Patch Kids lawsuit, the art was redesigned to look more generic

They did revive the Garbage Pail Kids a few years back and I got really excited. I have to say though that I haven't been very pleased. It seems like whoever took over the project at Topps really doesn't understand the comedy. Take the above card "CHRISTINA Ugliera" for example. That's... not how any of this works. And sadly, these aren't even the worst. Each year, the modern iteration just gets worse and worse. I keep hoping that some old school person over at Topps is going to be like, "Hey guys... WTF?"

Until that day, I'll probably continue to buy the overpriced remakes out of some nostalgia from a long lost era where everything was cool. Well, not really. A lot of stuff sucked, but these cards sure didn't! If you don't think I'm a total nerd yet, I'll help you out by informing you that this is probably only about 35% of my total GPK collection. The rest is in storage! Maybe I'll do another post to show the magnitude of it all when I get them all home.

Well, I hope that brought back some great memories for some, and head shakes from others. Oh, by the way if you like movies - never watch the Garbage Pail Kids movie. Ever. Just don't.