Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!"
Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."
What did the stamp say to the envelope?
- You stick with me and I will take you places!
Are you two twins?
No, why do you ask?
Because mommy dressed you both in the same clothes.
OK that's enough, your driver's license please.
I hope the children will never find out why I say "oooops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
I'd like to buy a new boomerang please. Also, can you tell me how to throw the old one away?
When somebody is totally angry, why not say:
"Yes, young Skywalker. Come over to the dark side of the Force."
Warning! User Error. Kindly replace user and press a key to continue.
I'm aware that the voices in my head aren't real. But their ideas are just awesome sometimes!
I weighed myself today. It is clear I am too small for my weight.
There are two key rules in life. 1. Never give away all of the information.
Do you remember when I asked you to give me your opinion? That’s right, me neither.
If you had to decide between a diet and a piece of chocolate, would you prefer dark, white or milk chocolate?!
