It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look! :DDDD

If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

I sometimes go to my own little world, but that’s okay, they know me there.

I don’t have an attitude; I have a personality you can’t handle.

With great power, comes great electricity bills.

I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.

Want to look thinner? Hang out with fat people.

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says: "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"

I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

Want to hear a construction joke? I'm still working on it.

Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.