50 Funny Baby Jokes
Have a great time reading some funny baby jokes and maybe share with your friends and family as well. Spread joy!
Why does a mother carry her baby?
The baby can’t carry the mother
A baby’s laugh is one of the most beautiful things you will ever hear…
Unless it is 3 a.m., you’re home alone, and you don’t have a baby
Funny baby watch video- https://cutt.ly/jZUHuAw
Three men were discussing coincidences at a bar.
● The first man said, “My wife was reading A Tale of Two Cities and she gave birth to twins”
● “That’s funny,” the second man remarked, “My wife was reading The three Musketeers, and she gave birth to triplets”
● The third man shouted, “Good God, I have to rush home!”
When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, “When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves!!!”
What are baby witches called?
Halloweenies
A friend asked me if she should have a baby after 40.
I said no, 40 babies are enough
Jake: “My mom is having a new baby”
Joy: “What’s wrong with the old one?”
Mom: “Why is there a strange baby in the crib?”
Dad: “You told me to change the baby”
Did you hear what the couple who met while working at an instruction book company named their baby?
Manuel
What did Baby Corn say to Mother Corn?
Where’s Pop Corn?
What do you call a baby potato?
A small fry
How do you get a paper baby?
Marry an old bag
What do you call a group of baby soldiers?
An infantry
What’s a group of chubby newborns called?
Heavy infantry
Parenting is mastering the art of a one-minute-poop and a half-a-minute shower!
Yes, and even the art of forgetting when you showered last!
What do you call a cow that had a baby?
De-calf-inated
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Mr. and Mrs. Turner had a baby girl.
They named her Paige, and they just couldn’t put her down
What do you call a group of baby garbage bins?
A litter
Never trust a baby with a dirty diaper.
They’re full of shit
When a baby is learning to eat, shouldn’t he have an L-plate?
Mrs. Goat: “Honey, we’re going to have a baby!”
Mr. Goat: “You’re kidding.”
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
How did Batman decorate baby Robin’s crib?
With a bat mobile
Did you hear about the baby turkeys that were all upset?
They were crying fowl
Why did the infant go on a diet?
She wanted to lose her baby fat
Little Johnny’s new baby brother was screaming up a storm.
He asked his mom, “Where’d we get him?”
His mother replied, “He came from heaven, Johnny.”
Johnny exclaimed, “Wow… I can see why they threw him out!”
Parenting is when weekdays are welcomed, and weekends are no-school days!
Did you know you can get a wooden car seat?
It comes with a sign that says, “Baby on Board.”
My wife was wondering what her breast milk tastes like, so she asked the baby. And he told her…
Umami
Funny baby watch video- https://cutt.ly/jZUHuAw
How can you tell if a snake is a baby?
It has a rattle
Why did the man bring his pregnant wife a small lizard?
She told him to pick up a baby monitor
I think the hospital accidentally switched our babies at birth…
They’re identical twins, so it’s hard to be sure
The best part of parenting is the day you realize that you have become everything that you hated about your parents!
Why are babies always gurgling with joy?
Because it’s a nappy time
Tell me, does the stork deliver babies with their diapers on?
No, they’re stork naked!
Did you hear about the baby born in a high-tech hospital?
It came out cordless
What did the buffalo say to his baby boy when paternity leave was over?
“Bison!”
Where do baby cats learn to swim?
The kitty pool
Do you know what a baby computer calls his old man?
Data!
What do triplets need more of than single babies?
More womb!
What do you do with a fussy baby?
You pacify it
I saw my son playing with a used diaper while the air conditioner was on.
It was all fun and games until the shit hit the fan
How did the baby tell her mom she had a wet diaper?
She sent her a pee-mail
My friend’s gambling is getting out of hand
He just bet his newborn son in our game of poker
And I thought I might have to raise him
Why was the baby drop of ink crying?
His mom was in the pen, and he didn’t know how long her sentence was
Why did the baby crawl across the street?
He saw the one object you told him he couldn’t play with
Have you heard of the pregnant bed bug?
She’s going to have her baby in the spring
I rushed to the hospital when I heard my cousin could neither walk nor speak…
Apparently, all newborns are like that
I read a book on prime numbers to my baby son.
And I had his undivided attention
My partner is so negative… I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag…
But all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn’t have teddy bears. You know why?
He had real bears
Interesting funny cute baby video watch now- https://cutt.ly/jZUHuAw