Celebrating 3,000 Followers
Let's have a laugh..!!
15 SBD giveaway for the first 3 funniest jokes.
Each joke gets 5 SBD.
Paid only if it makes us laugh.
Go on.....let's have a giggle..!!
Stephen
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If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
Teacher: Google is a girl or a boy..?
Student: Google is definitely a Girl…..because it won’t let you complete
the whole sentence and starts guessing, suggesting and start to confuse our minds, also can ask only one question at a time but get hundreds of irrelevant answers in seconds….
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hahaha.... 5SBD on its way. Stephen
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Thanks!
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Excellent. Now we need to look at Google with this eye. I guess :))
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A rabbi, a priest, and a minister are discussing what they do with donations to their respective religious organizations.
The minister says that he draws a circle on the floor, throws the money up in the air, and whatever lands in the circle, he gives to God, and whatever lands outside the circle, he keeps.
The priest uses a similar method. He draws the circle, but whatever lands outside the circle, he gives to God, and whatever lands inside, he keeps.
The rabbi has a slightly different method of dividing the money. He throws all the money up in the air.
Whatever God wants, he keeps...
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hahaha. Religion and comedy seldom go hand-in-hand but on this occasion I will make an exception. hahaha.... 5SBD on its way. Stephen
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I went to a nice jokes pleasure :)))))
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Man and woman sitting in front of a computer putting a new password in he types in mypenis .Wife laughs at computers reply which was not long enough .
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hahaha. One for the ladies..!! hahaha. 5SBD on its way. Stephen
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Thank you very much.
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Your Mum So Fat She Makes A SteemWhale Look Small! Steeeeeem On! No offence BTW
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Who are you? I won't make you laugh for 5 sbd hell even for 50 sbd i won't give a flying fuck.
At 500 sbd i might consider sbd at 5000 sbd i will surely make you laugh, wanna try? 😂
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Congratulations 3000 Followers
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A young lad goes in to a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, ‘I swear, this is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch and I'll prove it you.’
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, ‘You can have either the dollar bill or you can have the 2 quarters lad. Which do you want?’
The boy umms and ahhs before taking the quarters and leaving.
‘What did I tell you!?’ said the barber, laughing. ‘That kid never learns!’
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store and called out to him,
‘Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill? Surely you know that was a dumb choice?’
The boy licked his cone, smiled and replied, ‘The day I take the dollar, the game is over!’
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Women1; Why do you wear a wedding ring on the wrong finger?
women2; Because I think I married the wrong man.
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Drunk man calls his wife !!
Drunk man: - Today, I am not able to come home
Wife: - Why ??
Drunk man:- some f**king stole my car's steering
After some time, drunken again call back
Drunk man: - I'm coming home
Wife: - But.. you said you not coming
Drunk man: - with a smile.. initially I mistakenly sit on the back seat.
2
The guy calls his girl "What are doing my princess?
Girl: - Nothing just trying to sleep, my headache is getting bigger, what are you doing?
Guys: - I am watching a movie by sitting in your rear seat in the cinema hall, you Bi***h....
3
Teacher to student: Hey you idiot, whenever I see you, you always busy in talking with girls.
Student:-Sir, I'm poor I do not have a facebook on my phone.....
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What do you call a sober Australian? A new Zealander..
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A duck walks into a post office and asks the man behind the counter: 'Do you have any corn?' The man answers politely: 'No, we don't have any corn here.' The next day, the duck enters again and asks: 'Do you have any corn?' Annoyed, the man answers: 'No! We don't have any corn.' This goes on for a couple of days until finally, when the duck asks 'Do you have any corn?', the man gets so upset he yells: 'NO! For the last time we don't have any corn, and if you ask again I'll nail your beak to the counter!' The next day, the duck returns and asks: 'Do you have any nails?' The man answers: 'No.' Then the duck asks: 'Do you have any corn?'
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lol
I noticed this one even if nobody else did
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Here's by 2 best jokes ;-)
Question: What did the sea say to the sand?
Answer: Nothing it just waived...
Question: What do you call a cow with no legs?
Answer: Ground beef!
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Memes, memes, memes.
I just love memes.
Great way to celebrate 3000 followers with a laugh! haha
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A carpenter is building a house, and notices his apprentice throwing away nails, seemingly at random.
The carpenter shook his head sadly and explained to the boy.
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Hha hha @stephenkendal you want a joke to celebrate your 3000 followers!! go and look at your self in the mirror
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The Greeks may have invented sex, but it took the Italians to introduce it to women! (Congrats on 3k!)
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A Man from the toilet shouts to his wife :
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Bomb The Blast
There are three passengers and one pilot on a plane. The first man said, “I have a bottle, what should I do?” The pilot replied, “Throw out”. The second man also had a bottle and the pilot told him to throw out. The third person was very different, he said, “I have a bomb, what should I do?” The pilot told him to throw out.
When the plane landed, the pilot and three passengers found a man who was crying. When asked, he replied “My head is injured because the bottle that thrown by someone”. Then, they met a woman who was crying. When they asked, the woman told the same reason.
Several minutes later, they met a man who laughed uproariously. When asked, the man replied “I was fart and suddenly the existing building behind me was exploded”.
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Comment section is full on Fun today hahah
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A wife sends her husband (an IT programmer) to the shop to buy a sausage.
Wife: If there will be brown eggs, take 10.
A programmer goes to the shop and asks the seller
Husband: Do you have brown eggs?
Seller: Yes we do.
Husband: Then give me 10 sausages.
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Sarah decided to improve her computer through books from the library.
The librarian commented, "Wow! You must really be getting knowledgeable at this stuff."
"Thanks," Suzy said. "What makes you say that?"
She answered, "Only one of the books you're checking out this week has 'For Dummies' in the title."
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Q: "How many computer scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
A: "Five. Two write the specifications, one to prove their validity and two to implement it."
Q: "Well, how many hackers does it take?"
A: "One. But, hackers don't turn on the lights."
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Q:What can a elephant do, and other animals can`t?
A: A baby elephant.
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what's the difference between lentils and chickpeas?
...
..
you wouldn't pay two hundred steem to have a lentil on your face.
nsfw
or country women's association meeting
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My payslip is a joke by itself
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Congratualations on your 3000 followers, it must be a wonderful feeling.
Sorry dont know any jokes.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef!
Wow, 3000, I can only hope!
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What did the red light say to the green light?
Don't look, im changing.
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