NOT A NEWSFLASH - Immigrants discover immigration loophole

When an African immigrant, (the country he is from serves no added value to this story), sprung to the rescue of a child dangling precriously from a fourth floor balcony, he had little idea what his brave actions were about to unleash.

Alu Wakbar didn’t consider his own safety when, like a Black spider man, he hauled himself four floors up the exterior of the building while onlookers too scared to act, did nothing but gawk, applaud and whip out recording devices so they could post to FacePress and hopefully increase the numbers of their social media followers.

Why the child was hanging on the outside of the building in the first place nobody knows. The parents, who were not home at the time were obviously not available for comment, so Intentional Mirror have taken the liberty to make up what they might have said. ‘I don’t know what happened, one minute he was playing emergency services, the next, I was calling them.’ Said a distraught, yet understandably grateful father.

Crowds soon gathered in awe, and while most of the crowd were cheering, it didn’t take long for the situation to take an ugly turn. Supporters of the far right group, ‘White and Right’, upon realising that the hero was a Black man immediately called his immigration status into question. ‘Illegal f*****g monkeys, coming here, saving our children!’ When it was put to her that this was in fact a good deed that simply deserved to be celebrated, she punched our reporter in the throat and ran off down the street. Nick Sheman, head of White and Right released the following statement, ‘We do not condone violence, unless it is deserved.’

As the footage of Alu Wakbar scrambling up the outside of a building like a Black gecko went around the world, the President of France thought it wise to associate himself with some good news and made sure he was shaking the hand of a visibly stunned Mr Wakbar in front of a global audience. News had soon spread that thanks to his heroic actions, Mr Wakbar was offered immediate citizenship of France; he was even fast tracked into his dream job of becoming a fireman.

Unbeknownst to the French President and Alu Wakbar, the spontaneous act of bravery created a wave of wouldbe heroes, all of them immigrants, most of them Black looking for little white people to save. (Children not dwarfs). With a drastic shortage of white children in mortal danger, an enterprising group, in the spirit of capitalism, have decided to teach their little ones how to hang precariously from a great height and await a saviour. When the immigrants ’spontaneous’ actions have been made public and citizenship is secured, immigrants are then encouraged to ‘donate’ a small fee to the families who have trained what have been come to known has ‘hangers’.

Government mouthpiece, Bastien Henry commented in French, ‘We really didn’t see this coming and are looking into this terrible practice of offering citizenship to immigrants again. Ever.’

Reporter - Steve Rock of Intentional Mirror

Image courtesy of Pexels