Relationships cause confusion
Relationships typically begin with the honeymoon stage. A time where the fire burns the strongest, and the love and passion seems to know no limit. But it's mostly just the stage where couples get it on pretty much any chance they can get, and again, suffer from selective vision / hearing.
Keeping up appearances is effortless, everyone likes to look their best in front of their beau right?
People typically tend to look their best at this stage, and that's no surprise, cause who would want to date a munter?
And if you happen to be a munter, but somehow convinced your partner otherwise, then they won't see you for who you really are anyway, because they'll be suffering from selective vision.
There's a reason they say "Love is blind".
Hands-on
Some say, the hands-on approach works wonders.
During this stage, keeping your hands off each other is actually rather hard.
Make no mistake, this stage of "Body Exploration" is essential, however in the grand scheme of things, short lived.
It might last a few months, or even a few years, but one thing is for sure, the frequency of engaging in "hands-on" goes down.
I bet you thought girls wear sexy lingerie all the time...
Nothing Annoys You
"Whoops I passed some wind"
"I don't smell anything!"
The very obvious flaws just don't seem to make a dent, either we're blinded by love, or we just think our partners are perfect.
Never the less, nothing the other person does pisses you off, and you treat them with the same courtesy all the same.
If only this common courtesy lasted ..
Then there's whatever you call the exodus post honeymoon stage
"If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something."
— Fran Lebowitz
Hands-Off
The munter's really come into their own at this stage, because for them, there's really nothing to lose. But for those that made real effort to look attractive before, the difference is staggering. One must wonder whether their power of selective vision is wearing off, or if they're even with the same person. Regardless, it is an inevitability that the hands on three times a day, body exploration period draws to an end, and with it a more hands-off approach.
A fine line between love and hate
However, that's not to say that physical contact ends right there. When one door closes, another is opened elsewhere after all.
With the honeymoon stage a distant memory, whatever tolerance you had for each other's odd behaviour is gone too.
Many men are now reporting themselves as victims of domestic violence.
Frankly, i'm surprised they haven't killed themselves already.
Live to tell the tale
Whilst the honeymoon stage was an intense exercise on how to behave irrationally under the pretence of being in love,(and golly was it fun), many couples report entering a deeper level of love despite enduring the post honeymoon stage exodus.Acceptance is key.
That's the great thing about learning to accept and love the quirky uncanny weirdness in your partner.
Nice article! Actually passing wind has bothered me at every stage! :)
The kind of love described in these wise old words takes a lot of work and two good forgivers:
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous. It does not brag, does not get puffed up, 5 does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. 6 It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails.
1Cor 13:4-8
@kus-knee (The Old Dog)
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The biggest challenge is the exodus stage. Continues building a relationship is work and you might never rest. The reward however is the best. You will loop through relationships to find the one to get old together.
Remember the perfect partner does not exist, but they might come pretty close ;)
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I agree. People often like to assess their partners based on their positive points, but I think what matters more is whether you can learn to embrace their negative points and love those too. Because if you can't, that's a real problem!
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我英文没学太好,看了一下,写得真好,赞:)
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谢谢你ability, 昨天太忙,以后会加上中文的^^
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I'm a little that I can say about it. Most of my knowledge in this area are theoretical ...
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vi1son! I would have thought you would be a cassanova.. More practical than theoretical..
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These two words have never before met in one sentence - vi1son and cassanova xD
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I think the right person is out there for everyone. The deep the relationship goes and the more struggles you come through together the tighter the bond can become. Sometimes enough is enough and we change into something else, and the relationship doesnt work. Other times we meld together and become unable to see the world apart, a fusion of minds manifesting soulmates.
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Interesting.. Do you think the right person is singular or many potential people?
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I absolutely think there are many people you can reach this connection with. I think we are all different wave lengths of energy and alot of time certain frequencies in us change that no longer meld with people we once did. its ever changing really, I think we can find someone who might change the same ways we do or even a polarity thing like feeding each others energies. possibilities endless really. The more people feel and understand themselves the easier to find someone else who you can truly gel with.
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When i said "we manifest soulmates" after a certain time of bonding with a person we choose to create that , in ways like using the term itself outloud, we manifest it and it becomes real to both people. This is of course a process (all opinion, im very open to new understandings on just about anything) its nice exploring thoughts like these
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Brilliant...you have my vote. We are in the exodus post honeymoon stage! Will be following :-)
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The real test begins! I hope no one's been on the receiving end of domestic violence!
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i think we have to find the real love
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Conscious love evokes the same in response.
Emotional love evokes the opposite.
Physical love depends on type and polarity.
Sayings of G.I Gurdjieff
If one thinks that "love" is an emotion rather than an act of will - well, good luck with that definition :-)
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Thanks! I really like that quote, it's very insightful. Over the years, I've begun to understand what you mean by an act of will instead of emotion. But I still remember very fondly the feeling of being in love and having no control over it what so ever. So, I guess the distinction should be between being in love, and loving someone.
What do you think?
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"Free will is the function of the Master within us. Our ‘will’ is the supremacy of one desire over another."
"An ordinary man has no ‘Master.’ He is ruled now by the mind, now by the feelings and now by the body. Often the order comes from the automatic apparatus and still more often he is ordered about by the sex centre. Real will can only be when one ‘I’ rules, when there is a ‘master’ in the house.
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"Doesn’t every extraordinary first time sweep me off my feet? Doesn’t it take me to God for a few minutes? Doesn’t it let me fall violently to the floor right after? After all love is a drug; but if it breaks me so hard, why do I want to feel it again? But no, I am not an addict."
@mariandavp https://steemit.com/art/@mariandavp/the-bear-original-digital-art-and-story-by-mariandavp
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I think love works best when a mix of all, emotional, conscious and physical
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I think over time, everything in moderation works out best. Obviously at different periods of the relationships there will be more of one than the others.
My father once told me:
When you're young, you seek a partner for sex.
When you're middle aged, you want a partner to start a family with.
When you're old, you want a partner for companionship.
The challenge is to find one person that fits all three.
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Indeed, but you need the mix of all three all the way through ;))
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Soo true great article
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