Be Still and Feel My Presence - Comedy Open Mic Round13 Entry1

in funny •  7 years ago 

When you’re in a crowded elevator and feel yourself pressed back against some guy against your will cuz it’s either that or having your face in someone’s butt (another curse of being horizontally vertically challenged). And then you feel something creeping up your back. Is that what I think it is, you think a little bit creeped out until you a feel nudging at your shoulder blade and you’re not sure whether to be offended or impressed.


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I'll take that over my face in a butt, any day

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  ·  7 years ago (edited)

You have to pass gas in an elevator. Immediately. Everytime. It strikes momentary panic into the hearts of any potential predator. It buys you time. And time is all you need in an elevator situation.

Thank you for the advice @acolucky. I'll keep that in mind next time I get into a crowded elevator.

Maybe it's just his finger, some people have itchy fingers they can't keep to themselves.

I don't know about that. I guess, he could've been holding an eggplant or something.

Every guy's nightmare. Give me the butt please

Haha, even a guy's butt?

ewwww

Time for an elevator massage train

I do enjoy a good massage, but on the elevator?

It depends on the texture of the butt my face has to be pressed up against

I'd be more concerned about the smell than the texture, unless it's got thorns or something that can injure you.

The smellier, the better, where's your sense of adventure?

Haha, I have a very sensitive nose.

It looks like you are onto the creep theme this week.

Haha, I have mood swings which tends to bring me to that end.

Quickly fart, but stretch your ass so it will not sound, then you will be safe.
Ha ha