A few days ago, the NBA made a humongous announcement.

Unfortunately, I didn't see it right away because I have been incredibly busy breaking down game film of Jay Cutler's perfect execution of not caring. It is good to know that during his brief retirement, the skill he practiced most during his 11 year NFL career was not diminished at all.

Just look at how awesome Jay is at not caring:

Wow! That is some elite level utter lack of caring right there.

However, due to the need to look at that spectacular display from every angle, I fell a little behind in my TV watching. Today I decided to clear a few shows off of my DVR. I started with something I recorded on Wednesday at 1:00 AM called The Fantasy Show. First of all that is the most misleading title for a show that airs at 1:00AM ever. Sadly, it was not that kind of fantasy. Oh well. It was about sports so I watched. And to my surprise, I saw the greatest ESPN scroll that has ever graced the bottom of my television screen.

It read:

NBA

Eliminates

East

Oh my god!!!! It finally happened! The NBA got rid of the vomit-inducing, oozing, open sore that is the Eastern Conference. I got so excited that I threw the remote in the air. By the grace of god, it landed in a way that paused the scroll right there on my screen.

I stared at it in disbelief. It was just so freaking beautiful!

NBA eliminates East

Wow! Dreams do come true.

I quickly began texting all of my friends to gloat about my prediction finally coming true. I knew the fact that nearly every star player was leaving the Eastern conference meant something big. But I had no idea it would be this big.

Now, instead of wasting any time on watching 4 decent teams battle for 8 playoff spots, the NBA fans can turn their attention to watching teams like OKC and Houston attempt to play the game with enough basketballs to placate the egos of Melo, Russel, PG 13, CP 3, The Beard, and Harden (I know that is the same person but he needs it twice as much).

Honestly, this really was a no brainer. By going out of their way to super-suck, eleven teams in the East sealed the fate of the entire conference.

I applaud Adam Silver and the NBA for having the guts and forethought to put this broken down horse out of its misery. It really was getting quite pathetic to watch.

The Simpsons predicted the future once again in this episode where the NBA Eastern Conference was depicted as the Krusty Burglar.

Ok time to hit "play' so I can see if there is any other scroll-worthy news.

NBA eliminates East vs West All-Star game format.

Oh crap!

I should have known it was too good to be true.

Of course they eliminated that format. There are only 4 All-Stars left in the East. The West would win the game 397 to 8.

Oh well. Let the race for the #1 pick commence.

At least the East will have LeBron for the foreseeable future.

Wait. The Lakers are in the west too?