I blame Disney... but also One Tree Hill... <3

I blame Disney for my high expectations of Men…

… and then I blame One Tree Hill.

I mean they never even gave us a chance – did they?

So first there was Disney raising the expectation for our future Prince Charming's, then we got a little older and realised they are just cartoons, then years 8-12 of real life were coming to prepare us, as we no longer believed a cartoon man named Eric was going to walk out the TV and accept us just the way we are… even if we are a delirious mute who brushes her hair with a folk… at the dinner table… not to forget who is also really shit at charades.

Finally at a young impressionable age we were safe from the faux life of being swept of our feet. Incorrect. Because along came One Tree Hill, to fuck it all up again… just as we were letting go of the beautiful, romantic man that could only be drawn. Surely they are so dreamy when they can only be drawn right?…WRONG!… Along came Lucas & Nathan Scott. Well thank you very much Mark Schwahn. Thanks for keeping me completely unsatisfied in dating.

Don’t get me wrong some guys get it nearly on point with OTH’s finest… for the first say, a month, at best. Then it all fizzles out and you’re just together. There’s no Lucas on the beach telling you he’s the man for you (Brooke Davis). There’s no Lucas telling you ‘when all my dreams come true, the person I want standing next to me. It’s you.’ OKAY Tree Hill fans, that line was to Peyton, ok Lucas couldn't make up his mind for quite sometime. We’ll let it slide because he’s Lucas Scott, athlete turned literary god.

On that note can we just pause for a second and check the job titles of these main characters; band manger, fashion designer/Brand owner, owner of indie record label, professional basketball player, touring singer/songwriter whilst also high school teacher, author, agent, photographer, film director. What is life, if this is not it!

Can you see how this becomes a downward… well actually upward spiral of unreachable dreams.

OTH although ridiculous to a point, dealt with real relationship issues and high school drama, The love triangle, it happened… it happened again. They fought for what they wanted and everyone ended up with the perfect boy/girlfriend for them. That’s key in this show! In real life… people barely fight past the first week for what they love. It’s like… I’m sorry you broke up, are you ok, you’re what?… on tinder already? Bitch please.

So let me explain a Tree Hill boyfriend, if you’re new to the term. You can fight with him without the constant threat of a break up, dreamy right… like actual passionate fights without a break up. However, for the more dramatic fights, that cause long periods of silence. Say if you leave town for a couple of days, or for the entire summer holidays OR during school time… you leave to go on tour as a support act to a rock star. BUT These fights do come with epic gestures. The ones that take a little thought, listening to a lot of punk goes acoustic and renting John Hughes films to learn ‘what’s up’ when heartache strikes.

He writes you endless letters, makes you a mixed tape, buys you a piano and studio time with the man he hates just help you reach your potential. He writes a bloody novel dedicated to you. OH and then another one.

insert appropriate teen girl face at this revaluation in the story Peyton drives a comet!!!

Maybe this desire would die once you’ve experience your first real life boyfriend. Let me tell you. It doesn’t. My first boyfriend was older and in a band, which in my head meant, he’s mysterious, edgy and writes music therefore must be emotionally charged and deep. You know the mixed tape or even the ‘this is my new song, and I wrote it for you’ kind of guy (bare with me I was 15).

In reality he was just a dude with shit hair and shit morals. Heart = crushed. Momentarily. Then you wake up after a week of tears and heavy listening to Avril’s ‘SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING’… Dreams not so shattered. He was just a grade A douche like say anyone of those minor characters from One Tree Hill that show up and never last too long. The storyline for me and my leading man, was yet to come.

Oscar Wilde once wrote ‘never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary’ … Mark Schwahn, thank you for reinforcing this throughout the entire running of One Tree Hill. For teaching me to be a non-materialistic but emotionally high maintenance bitch.