By chance one day you decide, maybe its time to add to my family, and you think a pup could fill your life with joy. After all, when you walk through the door there would be no one as happy and absolutely enthusiastic about your arrival. So you find him/her! They are the pup you have always dreamed of. Before long they become your best friend and, for all intents and purposes your baby...How did you get so lucky (you may ask yourself)?
You grow together, and you find there are so many beautiful moments to share and so many different reasons why they are the best thing that ever happened to you! They ask so little and give so much! When you're upset they know and they do all they can to cheer you up! And so it happens, through no fault of your own you have convinced yourself that your baby has to be everlasting! They will always be there, because they have to and because you can't imagine your days without their little face, their bums wagging in cheer happiness to see you, running full speed around the yard, hunting, or playing with their favorite toys.
This year I had to do one of the hardest things I have ever done - I had to say goodbye. My dear Thunder - The Wonder Dog - had been sick for almost five years. After two episodes of acute hemorrhaging diarrhea syndrome, and surviving that, we found out he had multiple masses including a large inoperable one near his liver (basically cancer). One day he wasn't feeling well and the emergency vet told us to do emergency surgery or he put him down, they love to scare the crap out of you there. I added a third option, my fur baby was not going to die in a cold unknown place and he was coming home with me. He wasn't crying in pain or anything and I could tell he wanted to get out of there as soon as possible and so we did. The very next day he killed a bird and was running like crazy in the yard, I am so grateful that I did not listen to that vet! They would have killed him...five years too soon!
The next day I found our little Thunder angel! A holistic vet who practiced acupuncture and prescribed herbal medicines to him (no synthetics). She prescribed a diet, which I stuck to like my life depended on it because his life depended on it! We put him on herbs and went used acupuncture and laser therapy. For six months, my vet warned me that the best case of what he had going on she had ever witnessed was six months and I should be prepared...I told her not my Thunder! We went for acupuncture every week, it then turned into every month, which then turned into as needed. Adjusted his diet and herbs as needed and we all fought hard for him to stay with us!
Almost five years later, his fight was getting the best of him. He fought long and hard to stay with us and so we allowed him to finally eat food that didn't taste like herbs and enjoy the last of his time with us. His liver began to fail and he filled with fluid, which we had to drain every few weeks. It then became difficult for him to go up and down stairs, to stand to eat, and to hold his potties. It was time, we all knew it was. As his warm honey eyes starred at mine, bright red in mourning of the inevitable I knew he wanted me to let him go. He was tired, and rest was not something he was able to do without immense amounts of pain and I could not put him through this. He fought hard for me and so I would have to be strong for him...
You see, I never believed in putting pups down. I didn't want to feel as though I was killing my best friend, my baby, my companion and my sunshine on cloudy days. He was the best first baby I could have ever asked for and how could I do this...then reality set in. This moment was not about me! It was about him the strongest fighter I knew. He wasn't giving up easy, but we both knew when it was time. It was the day he could barely stand to eat his bowl as his legs buckled under him and in defeat he ate laying down. That was the moment I knew we would be saying goodbye.
How can you every say goodbye? When the moment presents itself you will know. You will both be ready! The same Thunder angel that helped us for so many years helped him finally rest and helped us say goodbye. It was the hardest thing we had ever done. Over six months later, I still miss him running around and making funny faces at me and bringing his toys in and out of the house and being the closest thing to a human that I have ever observed in a pup.
How did I get through goodbye? It was his goodbye that got me through it. Believe it or not that very same day I got a call from a family member to check on me...the message was in Spanish, however. This is what the transcription picked up!
