Game review: Rambo: The Video Game

The game that I am going to be reviewing today is based off of a film trilogy that might be well known to anyone from the US, it's called Rambo: The Video Game. This game is an on rail shooter game, something which I can't say I'm too much of a fan of, it surprised me honestly that games like this are still being made within recent years. It was developed by a Polish studio by the name of Teyon, and then published by Reef Entertainment. It was released worldwide in February of 2014 for the Xbox 360, Playstation 3 and the Windows/Steam platform. However, at some point within the last several months it has been removed from Steam and cannot be purchased anymore, though it still works for anyone who purchased it previously. 

Rambo: The Video Game is one of the most awfully done video games that I have touched in recent years, it is uninspired, ridiculous and boring to the extreme. How any game studio can think an on rails shooter game like this that is highly unpolished with glaring issues everywhere, and an irritating, nauseating shaky cam point of view could be a good idea boggles my mind. You would think with the quality that you're getting that some guy out of his basement made this game, and that it would either be free or dirt cheap to try out. That could be the farthest thing from the truth, however, as the came cost $40 upon release. I can't imagine how angry people must have been who bought it right when it came out. Probably just as angry as I was when I got Duke Nukem Forever. Either way, lets talk about why this game is one of the worst I've ever touched. 

The game follows the narrative that was told in the original trilogy of films, and ignores the more recent Rambo film that was released in 2008. What I mean by this is that it doesn't expand upon them with its own original ideas, you just play through various sections of the films but in video game format. So, there really isn't much of a narrative to talk about here. You're just on a badly done rail shooter for almost all of the game, shooting everything in your sight as you move along. You can take cover as you need it, and it has an active reload system much like what we've seen in Gears of War where the system was popularized. 

However, even with having a simple premise and gameplay style, they somehow have managed to make it shitty and not fun to play. Everything is heavily scripted without any surprise or thrills to be found. Each of the enemy AI will do the exact same thing, and usually spawn from the same exact spot over and over again. There is nothing satisfying about shooting the enemies or progressing throughout the level, nothing has any depth or impact to it. It's all just a shallow, empty experience that is beyond boring and dull. For being an arcade style game, it certainly lacks any and all charm or style that you'd find in such a game typically. 

The graphics and sound design of the game are abysmal to say the least. While not being a super recent game, it was released in 2014 for gods sake. Yet it looks like something that would have came out in 2003 on the Playstation 2 with the facial models and background designs. The graphics really just feel unfinished, like they were only half rendered and then the studio just said screw it, this'll do. A fair amount of the voice acting of the game also isn't actually voice acting, as they've ripped the audio straight out of the films. As you can imagine, this makes it even less engaging and immersive as it is a bit shocking when you first hear it, especially when it's contrasted by the new bits of audio that they've recorded. The best way to put it for me is grating, and I honestly just wish there hadn't been any audio in the game besides the gunfire. 

This type of design could have actually been entertaining, if they were willing to let it be silly instead of so serious. The game really does take itself too serious, giving you no way or chance to laugh at how ridiculously crappy the game is, or just at the situation of it all. For a game based upon 80's action films, you'd figure there would be at least some one liners here and there for a giggle. Even just some schlocky action sequences could have aided making the game enjoyable somewhat. But, no, there's nothing. The game has no sense of self awareness whatsoever. There are plenty of films and games that are so bad that they're good, but this is not one of those by any means. 

Beyond the on rail sections of the game there are some other elements of gameplay present for you to do. Is it done any better, however? The answer is no. God, no. So, you'll find yourself in some quick time events from time to time either for action sequences or when you're doing a stealth sequence. These are done just as poorly as the on rails section, and don't provide any kind of fun. It's a shame honestly, as I could see the stealth portions being entertaining if done better considering you're using a bow and arrow. Then again, it's a shame that this game exists at all, really. 

After you've spent a handful of hours experiencing the torture of playing through the game, it allows you to play through missions to try and achieve a high score for each one. Something that I wouldn't even dream of doing on my free time. There's also a local co-op mode available, which doesn't do anything to improve upon the single player game. I also have to say it's somewhat funny that they don't even say a single line of dialogue to try and explain why there's a second player tagging along with you. It just goes to show how lazy pretty much everything was done in this game. 

Perhaps one of the only things that I could praise the game for, well if you want to call it praise, is that they've done a great job at recreating the environments from all of the Rambo movies. I honestly have to wonder if they didn't just render the locations from the films to see how well they could do it, then decided "Hey, we could make a shitty game and make bank off of using these!". It's honestly so strange, that I am genuinely curious about the origins of how the hell they made this abomination. Beyond being poorly done, you'd also figure that maybe making a Rambo game in 2014 wasn't the best idea, considering that there is no new audience for the game really if we look at how the 2008 film did, which was also pretty poor. Again, I'd love to ask why they thought this was a good idea, but the world may never know. 

Overall, I definitely do not recommend you play this game if you ever get the chance. While I'm not a fan of on rail shooters, I think they can be done pretty well and be entertaining. This is the farthest point of being well done or entertaining. If you want to get your Rambo on, just go boot up the movies and watch those. This game is the most uninspired video game I have probably ever touched, and I am going to pray that any and all copies of this game out in the wild somehow spontaneously combust all at the same time. You'd have a better time sticking your hand in a blender than playing through this game. 

Thanks for checking out my review! Hope you've enjoyed it!