The Worst 360/PS3 Game - Ride to Hell: Retribution - Positives - Rerez

Every time I do Positives the games just get worse and worse and this one is no exception. This game has got to be one of the worst. It's worse than Sonic 2006, worse than Sonic Boom and worse than anything we've ever played. Ladies and gentlemen I don't want to present this to you but I'm going to only because I have to. This is Ride to Hell: Retribution. Let's try and find the positives.

Bad model work, bad textures, bad sound effects, bad gameplay, bad voice-acting. This game has everything in it and everything is wrong. This is a very strange experience. I think these guys were inspired by Road Rash and Full Throttle, two really amazing franchises and games, but for whatever reason none of those aspects from those really good games came into this. This game is like somebody was set to write a book and then they had it printed and bound but they just forgot to write anything in the book. The game has so many issues and one of the biggest ones was this whole sequence where somebody has to jump over an electric fence but they can't do it because it's electrified. So they steal a truck not to jump over the fence because the truck is really high but go to an electric dam to blow it up and cut out the power to the entire city. There's a whole section of gameplay that doesn't need to be there and it just makes for really weird story elements. Honestly guys this is a bad game but let's try and find something that's good about it.

This game has a fairly robust and pretty expansive bike customization system. I was kind of surprised to see it because you rarely ever get to use your bike but when you do your bike can look hot pink with a bunch of weird designs on it. Which I did. Because I like pink. But this game here offered a pretty cool selection of really weird options. You can change the tires, you can change the bike, you can change the grills, pretty much everything you want to do on a bike you can customize. This is probably the biggest customization I've ever seen for any bike game which is funny taking into consideration that this game sucks. But still if you really like to customize bikes this is a kind of game that offers that. So the very first positive is that this game has some pretty cool bike customization. Now I imagine when they were designing this game and coming up with the story they had this huge world kind of mapped out in their heads. I think that's evident in the level design and kind of the background scenes of some the cinematics. You'll see some really detailed textures, some posters and stuff up on the walls and that kind of stuff adds to the whole realism of the world. It fails in so many ways but the whole point was that they were trying to make a really cool universe. Even though the universe doesn't really play out that well there is a lot of detail in the world. Lots of really well designed art assets and textures are still here in the game and even though they feel a little bit sloppy there is some detail to them. For instance in one of the cutscenes if you look in the background on a wall you can see a bunch of spray paint graffiti to signify a local gang. That kind of stuff is really good world building. So if you like that kind of world building you get from games like Grand Theft Auto III-V and any other game that does world building really well you're probably going to like the fact that this game has some cool posters in the back. So positive number two is that this game has a pretty detailed world.

The textures might be sloppy, the world design might be a little bit weird and the animations might suck but one thing this game does pretty well is it has some pretty bright atmosphere. Now what I mean by that is there's a lot of games that offer these really muddy brown looking worlds and that's not very fun. If you've ever played a game for long enough that uses these very monotone color schemes they kind of get on your nerves after a while. If there's one thing you're going to be doing while playing this game is playing these levels again and again and again because the gameplay is broken. And let me tell you you're going to be appreciative for the fact that a lot of the world in this game is very colorful and bright. It doesn't look like a dark, dungy world. There's a lot of really cool detailed environments that have really bright atmospheres. This game offers some pretty bright graphics and that's a cool thing because a lot of games don't naturally do that nowadays especially when they're dealing with violent biker gangs. So positive number three is that this game has a bright and colorful atmosphere. There are games out there that you'll play that you'll absolutely hate. Games that just offer no value, no nothing and when a game is this broken it's not giving you good gameplay. It's not even giving you a good story, no good voice acting and very little else is good about it but there's one thing that this game offers that I defy people to say it isn't. This game is absolutely hilarious. You have to think about it this way there's some really good movies out there like The Room which isn't actually a good movie but it's really fun to watch just because of how bad it is. This game is The Room. This game is Flash Gordon. This game is all of those really bad movies all combined into one experience in a video game. Every time you see a cutscene and there's a glitch or an error you laugh. Every time there's a sex scene for whatever reason people keep their clothes on and it looks so fake and so poor. Everything about it is wrong and because of that it's unbelievably hilarious to play. This is a game to experience with your friends. Invite them over, sit them down on the couch, get some popcorn, probably some alcohol and play this game. I promise you you're going to laugh your ass off from the beginning to the end. If you can possibly make it there. So positive number four is that this game is really funny.

Since I started Positives people always recommend this one positive to me. Everybody says it for every single game that's a disk based game. And ladies and gentlemen today we're going to bring out the big guns. I'm going to announce a bonus positive just for this game. One we've never done before but I think for this game it's kind of worth it. The bonus positive for Ride to Hell: Retribution is that this game can be a coaster. Yes it's finally happened everybody we found a game where we needed to say this. This is the stuff of legend. Ride to Hell: Retribution is better suited as a coaster than it is as a video game.

Like any game we featured on Positives I feel like this game could have been something great. It could have been something that just surpassed what it is and I think the developers were kind of hoping this game was going to be something really cool. There's these sequences in the game where you pick up these cards and when you do there's a picture of the developers of the game on them and I think they did that because they thought this game was going to be their success story. The game that everybody wants to play but it turned out not to be that way. They seemingly just completely skipped the QA process and released a game that was unfinished, buggy and just wrong. But in that I think they made a game that's just unbelievably hilarious and fun to play because it's so bad. It's like watching a really bad movie. It's just so funny to see because of its problems. This game is like a performance piece of the wrong and I think that makes it kind of worthwhile. Even though I wouldn't suggest you play a lot of the games we feature on Positives maybe you should play this one simply because you might enjoy it. So if you're ever at a video game store and you see this game in the dollar bin or something like that pick it up. You're going to absolutely hate it but then you're going to love it, hopefully, I mean I know I did.

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