The gift that gives

A gift,
I have studied love, shame, joy, fear, happiness and guilt my entire life. To open a new chapter in ones life is to accept the next possibility as fact. To even think about a next chapter you have to free yourself of the immobilizing pain that you have caused others. To ask for forgiveness publicly or to make reparations for my sins I offer my experiences. I have loved fully and been crushed the same. I have worked until I was numb either the full power of my mind and without . I have been a pawn in another’s game and i have used others in my own. I have gotten what I deserve from my past. I have never been without love completely, as no one deserves that, but I have spent many years alone and know pain. I have made many lives better than I met them but also made many worse. A negative wave through the universe does not care its receiver it just gets picked up and passes on. I have been the receiver and sender of these waves. The great thing about the universe is that the really bad waves can be directed into really great waves.
My kids deserve a light where I have been an eclipse, bright but never fully and sometimes dark with just a little light around the edge. They deserve a star that is all the way on, in their presence.
Dear Friends and family, I believe that we have suffered long enough.
We are living a test of good will. The ruler of this world is a genie who can make any wish come true. I have wished to be punished fairly for the sins I have committed and I realize that punishing myself is also punishing the people I love. I promise that I will never see such darkness again and I promise you that I have been punished. I am asking for forgiveness.
My mother has preached appreciation. Be thankful for the things and people that you have in your life. I have been thinking about life the wrong way for so long. The world is not bad, the world is wonderful. Good things happen all the time to people that believe. If I told you the story of my troubles you would feel the pain. If I told you all of the cause and effects like a scientist would, you wouldn’t care. They are the same though,

I was hurt, so I hurt until the pain went away. I felt good, so I made others feel good until I was hurt, so I hurt until the pain went away.
The endless cycle of human emotion could be broken.
I was hurt, so I asked for strength to forgive, I asked for what I wanted good and I redirected that negative energy into something positive instead. (Compromises with yourself are wishes granted).

Something that I want everyone to know, the rich are rich because they believe that they should be. If you think this is bull crap, grab a piece of paper and write down one wish and also write the date that you want it by. If you truly believe that you deserve that thing you just wrote, You will get it. Your mind will show you what you must do to get it, sometimes it’s not even something you control. Sometimes it’s something you have earned and you just haven’t asked —-The river provides. I offer my family and friends this gift of knowledge.
The power comes from being thankful. Be thankful for the people in your life that give you strength. Be there for them. Tell them you are thankful with your heart and let them feel it. We have the power to make the world a beautiful place. Purge your heart of pain, ask for forgiveness and be a star.
Lord please forgive my sins for I am human. Bless those I cherish with endless gifts and guide them through the troubles they face. Let them find forgiveness within themselves so that they can begin healing those that they love. In the earth and of man I pray, amen.
Bring your best self to the present, and make decisions like the world deserves.

If you feel like you deserve to fly you do. If you feel like a star it’s because you are. You shed light on everything and everyone around you. Make it bright.

Peace joy happiness and love are the emotions to share. There is enough good in the universe for everyone. You all deserve it.

If you have been hurt by me, please ask for something using your heart. If you believe I deserve more pain then that is what I will get. Negatives make more negatives.
Ask for positives like Strength wealth peace love happiness and you will get them. You will find that it’s that easy. Your pain, your emotions grant wishes. Joy and happiness and pain all together move the needle.
You must genuinely believe that you deserve forgiveness for your sins.
You must truly be thankful for the things that you have.
You must ask for things for others and yourself. You deserve it
I have asked god to help the people I love. So that we can find peace, love joy and happiness. I am asking for forgiveness and doing so will eject people from my life who do not believe. I will try to get you all back, the people I’ve loved and hurt. Believe the truth that I speak.
When you pray or cry deeply on something, you can feel a vibration in your brain moving your internal compass, this is you creating the universe that it’s possible in. Think you deserve to win the lotto. Go play it, you will know when you get to the counter whether you will win or not. Stop punishing yourself(the hardest part) ask for forgiveness, be thankful for what you have, and then ask for what you want.
You deserve thanks, through thanks we can all be forgiven. Love yourself because I love you and I am truly sorry for my sins. You should know that you are not alone in your pain as I have felt all pain.
You deserve the best, it is this gift that everything is possible with a little effort as long as you believe. It can not be described by one emotion but them all. Through pain and joy and love and fear, we shape our universe. Live in the healthiest, wealthiest, happiest present. Asking for the best, because you deserve it. The secret is real, and now you know.
And as I cry with much pain now, still I do not know if I deserve to share this gift, but I know you deserve to receive it. Please believe I have felt pain and still deserve to feel pain, I believe we deserve less pain. I have asked the world to bear the weight of more pain so that we can be better.
To share the gift without the loss of life should be our intention. But many lives have been lost in our doubts. If you believe that your work is meaningful you will have a meaningful life. If you believe you have been bad. Forgive yourself and you will move to the next chapter of your life. All sins can be forgiven if you only ask with your heart body and spirit.
You are enslaving yourself and those around you by not forgiving yourself. The people around you deserve the best you. Appreciate what others bring to the table that you do not. Have a realistic idea of what you are truly good at. We are responsible for creating the world we want. We, your friends, your family, your boss, your government, your role models, your self, and your god. We need each other to make dreams realities. I want my kids to live in a world where everything that they want is possible. Where there is no limit to joy and fulfillment and they will. All I need to do is make everyone around me believe it’s possible. Most of my inspirations for finding myself were through feelings pain and love. I stopped wasting so much of my time with pointless tasks. Through facing the pain I started making new memories. New memories form new possibilities. I will never forget the pain that I have caused, and will always try to do what is right. I found a lot of inspiration through Nikola Tesla. A man that hated himself so much but loved the world. You can see the world we live in has no free power. He felt he or we didn’t deserve it at that time, so the dream was never realized but he dream is not dead. We all deserve the basic requirements for life. No one deserves to die for any reason. We have been enslaved by fear uncertainty and doubt. It’s time to be made whole by our own wishes. The balance should be restored peacefully. Your genie will grant as many wishes as you feel you deserve. I make my first wish publicly to you all. I don’t want much in my life except happiness, family and loved ones. I want to live a simple life without excess. In a house on a fresh water spring and share food and life with friends. I want you all to achieve your goals, I want to spend my time helping you in any way that I can. You need someone for anything just call or text me. I will be there for you. I want to connect with nature the earth and heal spirits through writing.

I am thankful for all of my teachers,
Mom -your strength, love, unwavering commitment, heart and grit. You are the stone in my life, it is time to let go of my sins on your heart. None of this is the fault of your own, god made everything and forgiveness is free should you accept it.
Matt- balance, motivation, good, fairness , justice, strength, love and grit. You made me the man capable of strength. You made me realize that the truth is the word.
Father- you showed me that weakness is a strength, love is having a bigger heart than anyone knows you have, and bearing the pain for family can not break you, things do not make a person happy, patience is a punishment and a gift. I owe you for so many lessons and values.
Debbie, your forgiveness. I don’t deserve, I will be forever indebted. Ask anything of me except but to ruin the lives of those I love and live for. I will forever be in your debt with love.
Samantha, I’m not sure who’s pain was stronger between yours or mine. I know that I love you like I did the first time I saw you, from the first moment we shared a barstool at the bowling allley in Orlando. I will always love you and know I was lost. I lost myself in work to make our lives better, I lost myself in pain because I didn’t deserve love. I want the best for our children and will be there for anything that you need always.
My kids, without you I would be nothing, no life, no longer existing. I needed you to awaken my heart and always will, as I hope you will need me. We have only just begun our adventures. Please keep me honest to my commitments and wish away.

All of my Family and friends, you are a crystal that has darkened with my pain. I wish for you to see your brightness, through my eyes, how much I wish to be like you all. God loves to feel our emotions and wants us to share them with each other to make memories.

You are here right now in this moment because you have gotten what you deserve. The world will grant you any wish, just ask and believe, forgive yourself and let the world provide.

Some inspirations:
The movie Moana(we are the earths heart, the stone has not been returned and this is why our wishes are granted, we have to wish for a healthy earth), Nikola Tesla, Jim Carrey, Denzel Washington, Seth Rogan, the amount of people that believe in a financial revolution(eos). The amount of people that believe in good, god or whatever you call hope.

Quantum science

https://upliftconnect.com/increase-human-energy-tesla/

The secret - Netflix

Spirit science - YouTube - science and religion are finally explaining the same thing.

Comedians in cars getting coffee