A new comedy series about finding yourself, friendship, love, work, and play. Also werewolves.

If someone wants to fund this production, the expected cost to shoot the entire first season is <50k STEEM (it was cheaper 2 months ago when Steem was stronger...current market prices :P ). As an executive producer, you'd get to help us craft the final product. If you'd like to see a more formal pitch, please contact me.

In a world intolerant of howling, it’s tough to be a werewolf. Tom is jobless, a massive government conspiracy is hunting him, and sometimes his friends just don’t want puppy kisses.

Written by @improv, @stinawog and Jesse Bangs (http://www.jsbangs.com)!

werewolf hiding in the bathroom pic
Image courtesy of Anna Cosper (http://annacosper.com/), created for the series and used here with permission.

Episode 1 is here:
https://steemit.com/story/@improv/gentle-werewolf-scene-1 (and subsequent episodes are linked)

Episode 9.2

69 EXT. A CABIN IN A WOODED AREA, EARLY MORNING 69

Kayla and Tom are starting on a hike in high spirits. Tom is
munching a granola bar. Kayla is pointing out various plants
to Tom.

KAYLA

Look! Curly Dock. It’s bitter raw,
but if you cook out the tannins, it
makes a great mash.

TOM

Mmmm. Edible plants.

He glances from his granola bar to the Curly Dock.

KAYLA

Yeah. I learned all kinds of stuff
like this when I was in Tibet.

TOM

You were in Tibet? When did you go
to Tibet?

KAYLA

Oh, you know. A few years ago. Oh
look! Prickly pears! Delicious, but
DANGEROUS! Like me.

Kayla leans into Tom flirty, then plucks a prickly pear from
the cactus and hands it to Tom.

KAYLA (CONT’D)

Not really dangerous, just prickly.
Try not to poke yourself, and just
mush it gently with your tongue.
The seeds pass right through you,
but they’ll break your teeth. When
I was living in the outback---

TOM

You lived in the outback?

KAYLA

Look! Beef jerky!

She reaches into her pack and pulls out a stick of beef
jerky. She offers it to Tom.
TOM

Yes! I mean, no thanks! I mean, why
do you have beef jerky?

KAYLA

For you. Beef jerky is a thing. I
thought you went hiking a lot.

TOM

I may have oversold my experience.
But really, no thank you. I’m
trying to be vegetarian.

KAYLA

Wow. You don’t have to be
vegetarian for my sake.

TOM

Yes. No. It’s not for your sake. It
helps with my health. For health.

KAYLA

You just became a vegetarian, huh?
And Jacob said you’re going through
a weird phase. Who’s the real you,
Tom?

Tom considers this, then jokes:

TOM

Real talk with Thomas Piccard!

KAYLA

Yes.

Tom sobers up. We haven’t seen him like this.

TOM

I don’t know. I mean, I’m always
me, right? Even being in a weirdo
phase, I’m me. Maybe especially
then. Before I met you, who knows?
I wasn’t anyone. I mean, clearly I
was someone...

Kayla looks suddenly into the woods. She heard something.
Tom’s voice fades out as she stops walking, and looks down
into the shrubbery.

TOM (CONT’D)

...I was just no one special. I
wasn’t a wisp of a human being, but
I wasn’t ... definable... Which I
guess sounds cool, but I don’t mean
I was indefinable...

Tom’s voice comes back full volume. He’s silhouetted against
the sky and gestures upward.

TOM (CONT’D)

...like some enigmatic god-man...

His voice fades out again. Kayla steps off the path into the
woods. Tom follows. Where Kayla steps lightly, Tom tromps.
Where she ducks around a branch nimbly, the branch smacks
him in the face. He plows forwards with his words, but we
only hear them dimly.

TOM (CONT’D)

...An ex told me I reminded her of
a god once. Which was nice, but I
think she just liked my beard. Or
was trying to say nice things about
me and happened upon my blandness

again

TOM (CONT’D) (cont’d)

as awesomeness. I just mean... My
friends have life labels to be
proud of. Samantha is science-y.
Jesse is the peacemaker. And
Courtney. She’s the one who makes
the world seem like it’s an
acceptable place, even when there
are people being mean. The
Nurturer. But who am I in all this?
I’m just the guy who doesn’t have
goals. I guess that’s something to
scare you off. I’m the unambitious,
meandering through life guy. The
guy who knows how to get down on
himself and...

Tom’s voice fades back to full volume. He’s eating a handful
of Curly Dock while making a face because of its bitterness.

TOM (CONT’D)

...say ridiculously off-putting
things to the girl he likes while
they walk through the pretty trees
and admire edible plants. But
lately? Lately I’m the were-d guy.
The weirdo. Sure, it makes people a
little uncomfortable, but I think
they like it a little, too. Freedom
embodied. Not that I’m a god. But
I’m weird now. Wacky. And that’s
new and definable and feels right.
So, that’s the real me. You?

Kayla stops and wrinkles her nose.

KAYLA

Listen, do you smell something?

TOM

All I can smell is your beef jerky.

She puts the beef jerky in her backpack.

TOM (CONT’D)

Oh. Yes, it smells... delicious.

Kayla’s eyes narrow as she sniffs. Then she turns abruptly,
like a pointer dog.

KAYLA

It’s over here.

They traipse across a narrow slice of forest until they come
across a deer carcass that has evidently been killed
recently. Tom’s face contorts. He’s trying to hold in his
lycanthropy, triggered by the deer. He’s twitching and
shaking, moving slowly backwards, out of Kayla’s eye line.

TOM

Oh. Did I say delicious? Oh,
venison, you’re so revolting. I
must have been thinking of your
beef jerky, which is also
delicious, by which I mean
revolting. Unlike the vegetarian
kind which is very delicious and
has a delightful sawdust texture.

KAYLA

This doesn’t look right.

She gets on all fours and finds a human hair in the dirt.
She leans in to sniff it, then picks it up and touches it to
her tongue.

TOM

Meat has such a gruesome texture.

Tom starts to growl. His eyes flash - they’re yellow. His
teeth are sharp.

KAYLA

Quiet, Tom! I’m doing math.

Kayla mutters to herself. Points briefly backwards, up into
the sky, at herself, then Tom, adding on her fingers.
Tom keels over, falling out of frame. A werewolf paw:
fingers shortened, very hairy, ending in canine nails/claws,
rakes into frame, scarring a tree. A guttural growl is
barely audible.

KAYLA (CONT’D)

Yep. Sorry about that, Tom.
Let’s head back to the cabin.

Kayla is focused on the carcass, sniffing, not looking at
Tom. Tom doubles over and falls behind a tree, out of
sight.
Kayla looks around and sees that Tom is gone. She reaches in
to where the deer’s heart would be. It’s not there. She
sneers.
We hear Tom crashing through the woods. Kayla turns towards
the sound and sniffs, then bolts, running away from the
sound.

KAYLA

Run!

Episode 10.1 when I hit 2000 followers!