Happiness doesn’t exist

Now before you say to yourself “Of course it does, I’ve been happy on numerous occasions!” let me explain. It comes down to one word, adaptation.

Human beings are incredible at this. Being able to adapt to one’s circumstances is probably the biggest evolutionary advantage we have been programmed with. Everyday stress is simply circumstances we have not gotten used to. One of my all-time favourite sayings is “You can tell a lot about a man from what worries him.”

Take for example two extremes, Vladimir Putin and a stay at home housewife (no disrespect to the latter, my mom’s one and is the most incredible human being I know). It’s hard to imagine someone who has a more stressful life than Putin. Whether he is being grilled by Megyn Kelly on live television, being interviewed by Oliver Stone on Russia meddling with the elections, planning military assaults on ISIS in Syria or fighting harmful propaganda against his presidency, it’s safe to say few face the challenges and responsibilities that he faces. The most incredible part is, look at his eyes, his demeanour, completely calm and collected. I’ve watched hours on hours of interviews and not once does he flinch, raise his voice, or become upset. Full disclaimer, I am not necessarily a fan of Putin, but I admire his unemotional detached stoic nature even when the stakes are raised.

Why? Because he has adapted to his extreme life and it will probably take a nuclear war for him to lose a night’s sleep.

On the other hand, a housewife’s life, to be honest, might not be that stressful. Not worrying about work or financials and if the kids are out of school, it won’t take much to worry them. My wonderful mother worries herself to death over the smallest things. She has adapted to her comfortable life and I’m sure if she were drafted in the military for a year, she wouldn’t worry about the catering for the party this weekend. The best part is that she is the self-aware enough to tell you.

The captain of a ship who just fought through a hurricane will laugh at a bit of rain. But the captain who has been sailing in perfect conditions will panic.

Now, what has this to do with happiness?

It comes down to the same principle of adaptation. If you are hiking in British Columbia, and its cold, it's rainy, and you are hungry, without a doubt, it will be horrible for the first few days. But after a week you would have adapted to your circumstances and it won’t be so bad. When you get back to your home, however, and have a warm shower, order a pizza and watch television, mark my words you will experience true bliss. But, after the first few days of being home, eating pizza and watching tv, you would have adapted and it won’t be so grand as the first time.

The reason why many wealthy individuals keep chasing wealth is simple, they keep adapting to current circumstances and need more and more to achieve the same happiness as before. A big house on the beach is awesome for the first month, then it’s a normal house and you need a better one. A Ferrari is incredible for the first month, but just like your first car, you get used to it and you need a better one. Ideally, you would want to drive a 20-year-old beat up Manuel Volkswagen for a month, then the Ferrari for a month and keep alternating.

It’s not wrong to want more, be ambitious and chase success. It’s all I can think about. But understand it’s a never-ending pursuit. I hope to have that Malibu mansion one day, but I know it won’t make me happy. Experiences, not things bring true bliss. Many celebrities that achieve success too young, also have the pinnacle of comfort. Every problem solved with a phone call. No wonder they find it difficult to get happy because they have adapted to an incredible life early on and never really suffer. The Kardashians seem upset every time I’ve been unfortunate enough to watch them!!

The point I’m trying to make is that happiness can only exist with unhappiness. Suffer purposefully, like running a marathon. It really, really sucks. But You would have adapted to feeling uncomfortable and exhausted after 20 miles and when you finish and rest, you will feel incredible. Absolute Cloud nine. Until your mind adapts to resting and it’s time to suffer again.

Do hard things for the sake of bettering yourself. Don't beat your head against the wall needlessly but chose to do difficult things that will lead to a positive outcome. Train your heart out in the gym because it sucks, go on camping trips with longtime friends in the cold because it sucks, do a public speech because it sucks, do manual labour because it sucks. Embrace it. Most importantly, knowing too much comfort kills, become comfortable with being uncomfortable and those blissful, “happy” moments we all chase, will appear more often.