What makes YOUR life happy?

I’ve been putting some thought into understanding what makes my life feel more full and meaningful. I’m not interested in “secrets” or life hacks. Just the things that when done regularly, have a surprisingly large return compared to what is put into it (for example, going on an expensive and long trip to Europe is a large investment, large return situation. Super fun but not a regular/sustainable thing).

These are some of the things that really make me happy. Hopefully this might incite some of you to come up with your own list of habits, activities, hobbies etc. that make your life better.

Getting outside as much as possible. No habit has come close to improving my life quite like this one. This usually means hiking because I live very close to a good trail but any walking or running will do it. Long walks in the city, short night hikes, summiting peaks, a neighborhood jaunt. Throw on some headphones, listen to music or a book. The best. Getting out regularly helps me feel like I’m taking advantage of my surroundings and is a sure fire way to make me feel like I didn’t squander my day. I’m often feeling lazy so I tell myself that I will only be out for 15 minutes, knowing full well that after getting out, I’ll stop feeling tired. If I stay out long enough, I’m often flooded with my more creative ideas. Without it, I’m rarely in situations where I get to stop and think for any significant amount of time. (Side note: for those who are wondering about how to manage this while raising kids, I do the vast majority of my hiking after I put them to bed. I prefer hiking during the day but that simply isn’t a regular option for my life.)

Having some sort of creative project that I am working on outside of my day job. It doesn’t matter how slowly I make progress, simply having a fun thing that I can go to when I have energy or a need to feel productive, does a lot to fill out the edges of my life. My ratio of creative projects started to ones that I finished is probably 10 to 1 but I am absolutely good with that. Finishing is rewarding but that isn’t the point. It is absolutely the point in my professional life but in my personal life it is simply about the act of making. The bonus of finishing is also very worth it. That feeling like you are offering something to the world, no matter how small. A humble (or not so humble) addition to our cultural content.

Reading (or listening to audio books). That feeling of giving yourself up to the supremacy of the text. Being swept away in a story or motivated by a fresh perspective. Reading makes me feel tethered; less adrift. Without it, my brain starts to feel like a dark morass of disparate thoughts and ideas. For me, reading is like a savings account of thoughts and emotions, each book a fresh deposit. (I’m team fiction btw, usually when I finish a non-fiction book that isn’t historical, I feel like it could have just as easily been summed up in 5 pages for similar effect.)

Spending time cultivating my most valuable relationships. I know this sounds a bit saccharine but without this I start to pull into myself in a bad way. The less social I am, the more I divide people into camps to pit myself against. I feel more alien and unpleasantly unique. My people remind me that I’m not that much different, that I’m loved, that I matter. Isolation for me is antagonistic. Seeking approval isn’t a weakness, despite how much I try to purge myself of this need. I can’t think of anything that defines me more than the people around me. I’m 50% me and 50% those who love me. When I get too socially distant (which I never do on purpose or out of sadness, life just happens) I feel like half a person.

I’m sure I could make a longer list but I know when I’m actively doing these 4 things, I feel like life is maximally enjoyable.