While I wish I had something a bit more exciting to post and share with you guys, like perhaps someone blowing their fingers off with fireworks, or some drunken people having an orgy with a group of eagles. Unfortunately, however, I don't. So, you'll have to settle for this weird fucking ice cream that I tried out from Dairy Queen that they were selling for the 4th of July. Legends say this creature has no name, as it was formed by nothing more than the hard erect dick of patriotism. Other legends say it's because DQ thought this shit up at the last minute and couldn't think of a fucking name for it because their PR team sucks scrotum in combination with ass. Either way, It actually was a pretty interesting little treat.
Overall, I'd give it a 7/10. It has some kind of blue candy blended into the ice cream, I believe it is pop rocks except they DON'T ACTUALLY FUCKING POP. WHAT IS THIS SHIT, DQ?! Other than that, it has cherry ice cream which I'm pretty sure is just made from the slushie syrup, vanilla ice cream as a top off and a Starkiss bar thrown on top. It was for sure cool to try, but It had some issues. Such as it melted faster than a woman's panties when she was in the holy presence of our lord and savior, Gary Busey.
Anyways, just wanted to make a quick post wishing you all a fun and safe 4th of July. Unless you're into hurting yourself on the 4th of July for some reason, in that case more power to you I guess. (So long as it's sexual, of course.) I do wish I could have shared something more interesting for this post, but due to a few things such as me not having any money for leisure spending/fun stuff, as well as having one of the worst sinus migraines I've had in the past year, I've elected to sit at home and just be a bum with my fiancee while our animals freak the fuck out all night.
Maybe I'll slowly lose my mind from sitting indoors tonight and star hallucinating a racist old bartender who talks me into murdering my family...You know, the normal tradition of 4th of July!
It's real cute you know what a Starkiss bar is, did you use to enjoy them with Jerry or something?
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I mean, I'm pretty sure that doesn't involve sucking your own cock and snorting crack rocks. If he could Starkiss his own asshole at will, then I think he'd be all about them though.
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Are you sure he can't? That may be the 2nd installment of his "comedy" routine. He may even dress up as Chester his favorite superhero, who should be treated with respect; as far as Jerry is concerned, in place of getting a bullet to the dome like a regular molester based on fundamental moral normalcy.
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I mean, I guess the only way to find out is to go spam every single post of his with this question. I'm down for the cause.
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I approve of your taking up the cause!!!
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looolll
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