Where the hell do I begin?
AT THE BEGINNING!
** SPOILERS ** ALL RIGHTS TO RESPECTIVE OWNERS **
Sansa’s “I’m watching you, bitch,” face to Dany. hehe.
Arya and Jon! Awwwhh!
Shit! Euron and Cersei and the Golden Co!
Yaraa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAHOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Theon rescued Yara!
“A few died at sea.” Looking at Euron. Ehehe. That's the "Dickhead and Dipshit," version of Euron's book storyline.
Ramin Djwadi back at it again with dope soundtracks. AT LEAST HE DIDN'T LOSE HIS SHIT!
Robbery. Good ol’ Sam. And go full circle, bitch. Better he heard it from her.
“Whatever Bran has.” Hehehe.
“You gave up your crown to save your people. Would she do the same?” OOOHHH SHIT! Massive elbow drop by Sam!
They survived! Tormund and Beric! Now I can die a happy woman.
Jaime’s here….. ** cue Twilight Zone theme**
Shit! So’s Bran! Some old friend!
Dany’s going a bit Viserys I realized, on dialogue. “If Sansa can’t respect me…”
Bitch, A.) You’re on their turf. B.) You don’t even sit on the Iron Throne yet, and you want queenly worship? Back your ass up. Human to human respect, sure, not unreasonable at all, BBS.
“Fighting for The Night King now.” Great way to put it Beric.
That’s some shit, Jaime… letting his guard down.
“I’ll defend the crypt then.” Ah, that’s some dope shit.
Brienne was knighted… it was something! Awwwh!
The circle around the fire is hilarious! Everyone’s looking around at Tormund like “WTF?” Especially Daavos! Hahahah!
And Omg! The Hound, Arya, and Beric all up there. HAHAHA! “The Lord of Light’s gonna wonder why he brought you back 19 times just to watch me chuck you off this fucking wall!”
Hehe. My confidante covered their eyes when Arya and Gendry were getting down!
“ I’m sorry for doing it!” No you’re not Jaime. Cause you’d do it again!
We all were so tense for episode 3.
I second Peter Dinklage: Why are all of these people down in the crypt, when they know the zombies are down there too? More Dingus and Dipshit, as Anomaly Inc. said.
You can’t see SHIT during The Episode Long Night. What the fuck were Dany and Jon doing? Same as the night king? Jon too? Tons of people would’ve kicked the bucket, but they’re all fine. Turns out it was a lighting glitch. But what the fuck was the director’s blaming? How’s it the viewer’s fault with lighting? That’s yours! “Deal with it,” doesn’t fly in this instance.
Why also did the Dothraki run into the blackness? Hahaahah!
Who gave a hell about Lyanna Mormont dying? I didn’t.
Jorah dying actually made me feel bad. Emelia Clarke’s acting here was great.
What did Bran do the entire episode 3? How do the Weirwoods play into this? And the Night King too?
When Melisandre shows and Daavos confronts her, I kept cheering for him to shove her off the ledge or kill her.
Arya killing The Night King. I didn’t like it. Why? She shows up in true deus ex machina fashion, almost like a slapstick comedy, then kills him. She had no stake in it, she had no reason, no grudge, nothing.
When Dany shows up for Missandei, and the camera zooms in on Cersei, but then circles around to Dany and her 10 unsullied, I thought it was so funny. “Who the fuck would take that seriously?” I asked my confidante.
WHY did Jaime leave Brienne? I was rooting for Jamie, but all of a sudden: he leaves to Cersei! So I was hoping Jaime died on the way, but he died with Cersei....
“They have telescopic vision,” My confidante said during the Red Keep destruction. Eheheheheehe!
For episode 5, I was annoyed that JAIME HAD TO die like that. WHY???????????????????? “Kingslayer, sisterbanger, goldfinger,” Anomaly Inc says.
Cleganebowl was boring. There was no character development to go along with it. It was all blood and guts. I was also hoping Sandor would survive.
Euron shows up randomly at the end to fight Jaime… but WHY? I asked my confidante," Why was Euron there?"
For the longest time, I just kept exclaiming and yelling at my confidante,” WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT? That’s it?”
Why the hell did Jon go with Tormund and Ghost beyond the wall? It’s all bullshit runaround to S1 because Dan and Dave didn’t know where to go!
There was a meme with Brienne writing in Episode 6 which said,” Laid good pipe but hits and quits.” HAHAHAHAHAH!
I was thinking it was cartoonish cause Dany said “We’ll conquer the world,” not a wardrobe choice like what Technoguy3 said.
I was glad that Jon killed Dany. The setup sucked though. Tyrion should’ve been let out, and walked in right after, been more full circle. This fucking Dany murder practically makes a mockery of Jaime and The Mad King.
Jon did NOTHING this season….. but kill Dany. Why didn’t Tyrion walk in right after? There was no lead in. No foundation.
Euron in the books, from what I hear, is frightening, menacing, and a real thrat to everyone. I wouldn't want to even shake hands with the book mofo... He’s a real psycho… but what the fuck is he doing in this season? All due to Pilou Asbæk's request. "Don't take it too seriously."
..... Ladies and gents, I give you this shit.....
On the upside: At least Ramin Djawadi didn’t lose his mind… soundtrack was still pretty dope. Same with Michelle Clapton and the costumes. Set design too.
It was ultimately so boring, and so fastforwarded, it amounted to a disjointed checklist.
Plus the fanmade trailer w/Tormund and Ghost:
But that’s another review altogether.
Bran is a fucking BORE, as Anomaly, Inc. says. HE IS ! There’s no depth, nothing behind what Bran does. Shell!
Everyone is a shell in this season, really!
Breaking the wheel? This isn’t breaking the wheel, it’s like removing one of the spokes. ONE. This is bullshit!
Even if this is the ending of the books, I’d trust George RR Martin more than Dan & Dave (or Dumb and Dumber, Dingus and Dipshit, etc.) to do so. There’d be a foundation, there’s some lead into it, and HE’D FOLLOW HIS OWN UNIVERSE RULES!!!!!!!
Certain shots look cool: The spectacle of the fire up Dothraki weapons, sure. The dragons above the clouds, the “apocalypse” of CleganeBowl. BUT WHY? It makes no sense.
“For about 3 years now or something, we’ve known it was going to be Arya.” Oh really? THAT MAKES IT EVEN WORSE! YOU COULDN’T EVEN WRITE IT BETTER OVER THREE YEARS, NOT THREE DAYS?!?!
Why the flip, Miguel Sapochnik? Season 6 interview for Battle of the Bastards, he comes clean and talks about how all this shit went down. But not Season 8. He must’ve had D & D’s Kool Aid.
How did Dany forget about The Iron Fleet?
Bran doesn’t = king. Bran doesn't have the best story. But he's still king..... WHAT?
I applauded Tyrion throwing out the hand medal. “I freed my brother, and you slaughtered a city.” Truth never hurt so good.
The entire fucking season premiered 2 years AFTER Season 7? EVEN WORSE Dingus and Dipshit. Even worse.
Bran can see the future. He says,” That’s why I’m here, to be king.” But you couldn't be king of anything last season, why now?
WAIT… now the inferences make some sense, more than THIS ENTIRE SEASON! HBO offered you unlimited episodes and resources, and you said no, ONLY 6 episodes.....
The dragon frying the throne was some bullshit. I hope in the books someone gets Drogon to fry the throne, not just Drogon choosing to for NO REASON.
Also, The Iron Bank segments were cut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They threw out their segments last year, I believe. I was looking forward to their segments, but no. Then again, of course not, we have David Friedman (Benioff) as one of the show runners.
Anticlimactic, yes. Stupid and deus ex machina shit. No universe rules. The dialogue is dumb, so many loopholes and open ended bullshit inconsistencies (in the world of Ice and Fire).
Why's John living up north? This is bullshit! My confidante said," What're they guarding there?"
I said," Border patrol...."
.02 USD/ $6.00 USD ($1.00 USD per episode). No I'm not joking, there were petitions, but they'd never remake it. It was bad, all because of the writing and directing, fuckers.
