Dear Diary: If I Had Only Three More Brothers

This late afternoon I just took a nap after watching some videos from the Internet as I do always. Then I just had a light sleep but it had dreams.

The only thing that I remembered was I was at this hospital bed and then my brother from behind as I was lying down gave me a couple of pillows which is like a pillow for babies which I was supposed to use for to aid the curvature of my back while I am lying on bed.

Then he pulled much more of it to completely make me comfortable on my bed. That is just a part of that dream but it has a deep meaning for me because as I was just starting for my dialysis my brother (second to the eldest) took great pains just to support me.

As he was just starting as an employee in the paper factory near us, he gives much of his salary for my treatment. Part of the payment for my expense was from my father's earning as a taxi driver. There is also a moment where they have to borrow money to a neighbor at a 20% interest for my $425 (roughly) monthly treatment expense.

My brother would then ask from his coworkers for a loan that has no interest. That is how my brother's coworkers treat him and he was indeed blessed of having them around. So that is how I survived my first four years of gruesome fight to stay alive, is because of my brother's efforts for me until later I got a government health insurance which made us breath better from financial burden.

I remember that time when I was in a charity dialysis center whee they would reuse even the bloodlines for four to six months. The 30 cc syringe was also reused until they cannot push or pull its plunger anymore and the dialyzer too was reused until it showed the signs of inefficiency which is roughly from 2 to 4 months.

Then the machine that I was using broke, apparently because mice went into the machine and urinated the motherboard. Those were the times that I get 1 session of dialysis per week. So my brother once again took a loan from his coworkers which is 50,000 pesos for a small piece of machine part.

The doctor in charge said that he will make sure to plug off the holes where the mice was entering the machine but after a while the machine broke again because the doctor didn't do what he said. Fortunately when that happened my church was the one that was paying my hospital fees. But it matters a lot to me because it was as if my brother's money was wasted because of somebody's negligence.

Anyway that brother of mine always gives me support until now, unceasing. He is ever dependable but I also have to pray for him because of his heart condition. The doctor said that he no longer had an arrhythmia which is good news because of his medication and revolution about that way he eats now.

Thank God that I had him but he is only one person and cannot bear the weight that my problem had given to him, if I had three more I would not end up like this but I am determined to win even though that road for my goals are a little bit rough but still miracles might happen along the way.

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