Dear Diary: I Am As Thin As A Matchstick Already For Many Years Now

I had been a vain person before, in fact I did planned to use those skin whitening products before. But now it is just useless to get vain with my appearance because of my current condition as I look like matchstick without a matchbox house.

I know what it means to have an appearance problem, people just doesn't respect you the way you deserve and they treat you differently than other normal people. That is why I am very elusive to other people just preferring to stay here in my old and ugly (and hot) little room.

Losing weight had been my problem for many years now especially when I started my Parathyroid medication, all my appetite just went down the drain. I am just thankful that somehow I could eat my breakfast, pretty weird but when it comes to regular meals I couldn't even take a bite.

If only my parents were a good cook then I might be able to eat well but they are not. My mother herself doesn't have a clue how to cook when she and my father got started together, it is because in their home in their province it was my grandfather who cooks while she does chores around their homestead.

But of course I learned how to cook because of my mother, she taught me everything from cooking rice to cooking a Menudo. Cooking is a long process to learn and you will be a good cook if you learn about your mistakes, if a dish got sour then next time you cook it you adjust the vinegar or tomato sauce accordingly. A bad cook doesn't adjust and just wonders why and continues about his/her own techniques.

Anyway in a way my being so thinned-out or emaciated doesn't mean that I am malnourished. I still manage too introduce nutrition in my body but it is the calories that I really cannot even get to fulfill because of my appetite problem. It seems hopeless to gain weight but maybe with a stroke of miracle I will soon maybe gain weight but for now it is still a rolling battle. May God help me.