Dear Diary: I Just Had My Supper Which I Just Forced Myself To Eat

I wasn't even planning to eat my supper today because even at my dialysis I had lost my appetite too because I ate a pepperoni sandwich just to make my blood pressure stable at dialysis. But I thought of losing weight will make me have a bad time as those would be lost real body mass if there ever was left in my emaciated body will get replaced by fluids which will then have a bad effect in my lungs.

Now I do not want the food that my mother is offering me so I just thought of requesting some bread and scrambled eggs with onions. So that was what I had for my basically lunch-supper meal. I know that it will not give me the calories that I needed but it is better than not eating at all.

I might ask my mother to buy me some of those appetite stimulants in syrup form just to really make me want some food otherwise I am just making it bad for my body and well-being because my longing urge to eat is zero and I do not want to lose weight too so even though the appetite-stimulant is quite pricey I do think that it is really worth it.