Dear Diary: My Frustrations In Life Are Great But I Do Not Think Of Them Anymore For My Happiness Sake

I want to get cured but I can't right now, it is an expensive affair and I do have to save some money before, during, and hopefully after treatment/operation so I just also hope that time and my patience won't run out before I could accomplish my medical goals.

I have thought about making a family for myself but I can't, for one thing no girl would like to even look at me, now that is a problem. Maybe they will think twice again if they knew my bank account contents LOL. My parents said that it is easy to get married as long as you have money although poor people get married too but getting a woman for myself as a bride is another big issue.

But I am not thinking about getting married, it is ridiculous if I would even try, I am now too old for that nonsense now and I must admit that it was my frustration that I haven't even gotten a girlfriend because I have a principle that one should calculate, plan, and prepare for things that they would do before they would do or work on it.

It is the reason I am not looking for a surgeon yet because I believe that it would incur expensive examinations, treatments, procedures and I want to prepare fro it financially before putting my body into subjections. But the wit is getting longer and my lifetime isn't getting any longer too and I am frustrated about it.

Getting around and going to places are one of my frustrations in life. I heard that our national museum had opened a branch, I had planned to visit after seeing it while aboard a train when I was processing my papers to request for my medicine in our General Hospital in Manila years ago but I think I could not go for that plan now, just one frustration that I failed to do.

Simple trips, vacations, mini-vacations, cooking, and my hobby. I can't do these things anymore, they require a bit of exertion which I cannot do so it frustrates me knowing that I cannot do most things now but I do not think of them anymore and I just enjoy what I have now with me at my disposal to do and execute as things like what I don't have or cannot do are just a big wall for me and would wait for it to crumble before passing on it but if it won't go down I will just have to get contented of what I have because it will mean happiness for me despite my condition and situation in life.