Its my dialysis in a few minutes from now and I am always looking forward to this instance in my life. It sucks when you are just reliant in something that makes you feel normal momentarily because dialysis makes my system clean and with that makes my appetite come back to me and I am able to eat and enjoy my food because of that.
As dialysis takes and draws out water from my body it gives me a needed relief like a balloon pierced with its air inside and makes my breathing pattern normal again. So it is just a spectacle for me when that happens because I expect it and never ceases to amaze me.
But the hemodialysis is notorious for making my blood pressure drop into shock levels because it is relatively fast in its action to draw water and other nutrients from the body which I could not endure at times and I have to ask for my dialysis to get cut short of its termination time which saddens me because every bit of time under dialysis is crucial as it is a time for cleaning the blood.
If only there is no complication for the bone then dialysis would be still okay but in 16 years of being a patient took a toll on my body as it transformed me into an ugly creature that some people doesn't want to even look at much less to deal with and it affects me deep within even though I try no to get affected.
But I am a creature of feelings so even the smallest and slightest jests, look, smiles I can sense and observe so more often I just close my eyes and pretend that I am not seeing it all. It is just my life now and part of the things in my life that I endure.
Hey Cryptopie.......just remember that no matter what.......God loves you just as you are. You are perfect in His eyes. :) Blessings to you!
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Thanks for your thoughts Ma'am. I appreciate it.
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@cryptopie I am glad that dialysis makes you feel better...... People can be cruel, here on Steemit I just see a very intelligent man trying to get well!!!
Have a good evening @cryptopie ! :)
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My dear, do not bother of people, if they like you or not is their problem. You need to love your own self and be happy in all conditions of life, I know it is very easy to say but when life leaves us with not many options then we should make the most of what we have. And people will talk anyways and in any condition so just give a damn to them.
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Yes Ma'am you are right that is why I am just always silent and really avoiding people because I must accept the fact that people treats me differently more today than I was still normal looking.
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That’s so hard :( I can understand the feeling of the pressure and being conscious of eyes looking at you even when you aren’t looking back
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Yes it is funny sometimes that they thought people don't have a peripheral vision and that they can't sense what is going around.
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God bless you and give patience for bad situation.
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