Depressingly Depressed

in health •  7 years ago 

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Part and parcel of living with Multiple Sclerosis involves suffering with depression. The fact that I have a life long condition that affects my health could be the cause of my depression. Maybe it's knowing my health will steadily get worse, or possibly because of the chronic pain and overwhelming fatigue I experience. Depression can also be a side effect of MS - if lesions are in a certain area of my brain, that can cause it.

Regardless, I usually have a handle on it and treat it with pills every night before I go to sleep. I used to be very anti-drugs, but have come to accept that I need them, if not for my own sanity, then to help my family live with me.

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A few weeks ago I had a bout of flu. My immune system is wonky: in Multiple Sclerosis, it's your own immune system that attacks your nervous system, leaving lesions (scars) in your brain or spinal column. Once damaged in such a way, your nerves never fully heal. When I have a cold or flu, my immune system either goes into overdrive to attack it, or it's slow to react. Either way, when it does kick in it gets carried away and attacks my nerves too. This time the flu dragged on, draining my energy - something I had little of to start with. I suspect my immune system also went on a rampage as I have still not fully recovered to my level of health before the flu struck.


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For those that follow my blog, you may have noticed I have been unusually quiet of late. Even though the flu has now subsided, I seem to have lost my mojo. I can't think clearly, I seem to be spending more time in bed each day and I have come to realise that I may be more depressed than usual. I have not been as active in the various communities I am a part of and feel like I am letting everyone down.

Why am I writing this? To get sympathy perhaps? Nope. Just to let people know that I still strongly believe in this platform and the various community offshoots. Yes, there are problems here - just look at the shit show that is the trending page - but they can be fixed. How? Someone cleverer than me can figure that out. But for now, I'm taking a little time offline. I need it. I can still be contacted on Discord if needs be - I check it throughout the day.

Meanwhile I still keep a check on my witness server, making sure it's running as it should and publishing a regular price feed. Having lost a large witness vote I have slipped down to rank 88, but I appreciate each and every person who still supports my witness. Thank you all. If you'd like to support me, click the link in my footer.

See you on the other side.

Muxxy.



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I'm glad you're taking time off and not pushing yourself to "get over it." Many people try to shove depression aside and ignore it, but imo that just makes it worse.
Take all the time you need and we will be here for you when you get back (and if you need anything in the meantime). You're one of the best of us, you know. :)

Muxx, we love you. We'll take the good days with the bad just to have you as part of our lives. Just because I've always admired your positivity doesn't mean you aren't allowed to be depressed, angry, and tired. If you need to be yourself, take your time to do that. But if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. Most of the block is here. Just DM or yell and scream and vent in general. We'll keep on loving you regardless. You are missed but your own physical and mental health comes first!

Sad to hear brother muxxy :(

Its a start with acknowledging that you are feeling mentally as how you normally would. You already took that one. I wish there was something we could to for you as a community, because you are such a loveable social animal.

Give yourself all the time you need, the world will keep spinning, but you are the one who has to get back in the spinning game as well

take care dude!

Never forget you have a ton of people at the block, rooting for you. Take care of yourself, Muxxy and get well, so you can come back to us soon hugs

We wish you all the best, muxxy. I can't imagine what you're dealing with on a daily basis. I can only hope you recover as much as is naturally possible without the aid of alien intervention or nuclear waste accidents. We'll all be ready for you when you get back on your feet.

You know I've got a Minxycandle burning every day. You just do what you need to get better and know you're loved at the Block. Hugs

It was hard for me to upvote this post because I still faintly associate that with "like," and I don't like what you're going through. However, I do understand it. Nothing about chronic illness is easy. Part of living with it is learning when to coast, and when to actually apply the brakes. I'm encouraged that you recognize depression for what it is, and understand what causes it. Also, that you're in tune with yourself enough to know when it's time to put you first, and let your body and mind heal.

You are surrounded by friends who love you and consider you family. You will not lose any of us by taking some downtime. We want what's best for you, so we can keep you with us for many, many years to come.

I am sorry to hear this and wish blessings and the best to you in fighting this condition.

I can tell from the other comments that you are well loved @gmuxx. Take care of yourself first. Steemit will be here when you have found your strength to do more and all of your fans will be waiting.

hugs

Worry not about the platform or whoever might be wondering why you need your time. Health is the utmost priority, take your time and take extra good care of yourself.
You know you have some genuine people here who care a great deal about your well-being.

Lots of love,
Josie

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

I was in a hospital in India on the day this was written and missed it, or I'd have been here. I love you Muxx-ay <3 I will do anything for you that I can. You damn well BETTER take advantage of me, the ladies sure aren't.

Auto immune issues can be absolute hell to deal with as can the impact on the body too, I myself have hashmitos which often puts me in bed and certainly has had a devastating impact on my health, can I ask have you ever looked into or received advice to do with food based allergies and nutrition? I am learning myself there is a lot of theories around the cause of this in respects to auto immune conditions, just thought I would mention it, I hope your day today is better.

Upvoted and Followed :-)

Taking care of your health has to be your #1 priority for you and for your family. Take some time off and get well, we'll all be here for you when you choose to return.

Please take care of yourself!
Take a break if you need or make something for fun like you did 3d. Possibly something simple to distract yourself and get into it easily.
Good luck!

You are one of the most inspiring people I've met on steemit, nay, ever, and I'm proud to call you my friend. Do what you need to make yourself feel better, take all the time you want. You're missed, but we want you around this world for the long-term.

Just upvoted for you.

My father has Multiple Sclerosis. Last stage.

I can't know how it is. But I know how it is.

Take the time you need. Life will still be here when you get back.

I wish you luck, patience ,love and a speedy recovery. Heheh.
I'm sure someone will have better jokes. Take care GMUXX.

Sending well wishes your way @gmuxx
I'm inspired by your posts, particularly the ones in regards to your day to day - the candor and positive attitude you display is refreshing.

Hi @gmuxx,
First off, I upvoted you. Have already been following you for a while. And just now I cast a vote for you as witness.

I'm sorry to hear of your MS and depression. I too have depression. So believe me, you are not alone. Sometimes I just slog though day by day. And if I do, I claim that as a success. I have better days and worse days.

And I, too, had the a nasty cold lately. Being immuno-supressed (I am a kidney transplant recipient), that cold lasted for 2 months. It's not over yet. So, I feel your pain on that point too. I've been doing 1/10th of what I ought to be, between the cold and depression. It's no fun. I remind myself there are better days to come, and that's all I need to continue.

Thanks for supporting the community on behalf of us really small guys.

Be well, be strong,

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Joe
@joe.nobel
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stop by my blog and check out some stories

That sucks, my mother in law has MS. Have you tried cannabis/ CBD? I have heard some good things from people with MS who have.

Hope you will be back on top of your game shortly. The trending page as a shit show ....I tend to agree with that statement. take care Muxx wish you well and sending positive vibes your way.

Hoping for your wellness very soon @gmuxx. It's my first time to read your blog and I feel sad to hear you current condition. But then I am also thankful that you are taking a rest to take care of yourself. I did a break too, and it helped me a lot. I just also accepted your invitation for TWB, I'm finally there to learn :) See you there!

I'm with you, Muxx. You're one of the people I admire most here, and your contributions to everyone's lives can't be overstated. You're a good man, Charlie Brown. :) I hope taking a break gives your body the chance to rest and recover.

Much love, brother.

Wishing and praying for you Muxxy! Be well, I’m coming for my hug in August!

Good luck with the disease. I have had friends with MS and it can be quite a chore to just keep up sometimes.
Hope you do as well as possible with it.

Muxxer.... im going to reach out to you on Discord...

Hey man
Sorry to hear you're going through a rough time. Rest up and take good care.
I don't know if you've found the same but I get worse at the turn of the season, and many with autoimmune diseases have reported the same. March/April and then again Aug/ Sept I'm always worse. It just helps knowing to prepare for the down time and to plan accordingly. Maybe have a think and see if you're also getting seasonal change dips on top of not having recovered after the flu.
Take care
Lizelle

depression is a nasty dog when it goes hunting.... you can beat it .. just be kind to yourself in the process. You aren't letting anyone down when you do what you need for your health.

hows your health now dear?
flu is really irritating thing

Yes, take the time you need to fully kick this bout. There are times that you need to take care of numero uno. The Interweb, Steemit, Discord will all be here when you are back to feeling you. We can't guarantee the shape it will be in but it will be here 🤣

Pants Hats off to you Muxxy!

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

I'm glad I was able to find you here and I will follow you being kinda in same boat. As they say everyone is different which is true. Still nice to, sadly, weirdly see others going thru this CRAP (saying as nice as I can).