the continuing strain of life

I just put my child down to bed. He's fully clothed but not dirty so I did not put him in pajamas. Being a baby, his clothes are comfortable at almost all times. Sometimes he wears pajamas all day. Sometimes he doesn't need to wear clothes at all. I believe I am a good mother regardless of the outfit he is wearing. It holds little relevancy to the greater scheme of wellness. The world is now dark and I am contemplating how what my child is wearing holds bearing on my success as a mother, if any at all. My partner has recently undergone a major brain surgery to extract a benign tumor the size of a golfball. I have been caring for him and my almost one year old son and it has been taxing to say the least. I am wondering whether or not his medicaid was approved. I am wondering if we will soon be facing a bankruptcy. I am tired. His surgery went well. They removed 90% approximately. He has no facial nerve damage but, he has been leaking cerebral fluid consistently. We find out tomorrow if he has to have another surgery to stop the leakage. In this day and age, with technology at our fingertips, a moral understanding of what basic human needs are, and a plethora of resources, why should any family have to wonder whether or not they can afford to be healthy? This system in America, this capitalist system is fucked.