Do the three following things to be at your best and to offer the most value to anyone and everyone:
1.) Be really self-absorbed.
Give me a chance to explain.
As I see it, there are different flavors of self-absorption, most of them detrimental to both ourselves and others. Most people that we tag as self-absorbed are really just egotists. That's to say, they are concerned mostly, or only, about building up their self-image. These types tend to be full of pretensions and narcissistic traits. There's something there for those willing to play the games, but there's really only masochistic joy to be found there.
That's not the kind of self-absorbed that I'm talking about.
What I mean to say is be so absorbed with finding out who we are, under the ego, that nothing...yes, nothing becomes a higher priority.
What about the family?
Family to whom? Who are you?
Do you feel great? Do you feel like you have a lot to offer your family, society, the planet? If so, by all means, pour your heart out to the world and give yourself unapologetically and indiscriminately. If not, find out where/ why/ how you've lied to yourself about not being a great human being, in every sense of the word great.
Do you and your family, and everyone who'll ever come into contact with you in the future, a favor by looking long and hard at yourself and seeing the B.S. within your self-image. Just see it. To see it without excuses and rationalizations, raw and un-suppressed, is to drop it.
2.) Don't give a frick
People think; they judge; they compare - it's what they do. Let them do it. We aren't about judging others' judgments or fearing how they perceive us (how we impress upon them). We aren't about that because it's a waste of energy and futile pursuit, respectively.
It's much better, and far more beneficial to life, to just be free from that game.
It's amazing to feel how strong and resilient we all are, when we can find this space of letting things be as they are. Suddenly, we can focus on our tasks with so much intensity and clarity of thought that we almost feel super-human, as if we have just taken the pill that Bradley Cooper's character, Eddie Morra, takes in the movie Limitless.
If we want our energies to go into what matters, then we must first drop it from that which really doesn't. Pretty simple, really.
3.) Treat ourselves with love and kindness
Does a loving person submit his/ her children to violent abuse and willfully provide them with a poor conditions of life (unhealthy food, unsanitary living conditions, etc.)?
Yes they do. They do it out of ignorance.
We're all loving people, but not everyone understands how to direct their love in a way that most benefits themselves, and the world by extension. Many of us unwittingly give that love (attribute it) to food, drugs, sex, violence, self-mutilation, etc.
We think that we need, thus our self-image is one of neediness. We think that we must have (you name it) in order to quell the neediness, thus we become possessive. We find that certain possessions relieve the pain for a time, thus we become addictive. Our focus is aimed mostly at this relief; this treatment of the symptoms; thus we fail to see our possessiveness, or the feeling of neediness that it hides and the self-image that paints oneself as a needy person in the first place. The self-image is the stem from which the branches of ignorance and, therefore, pain, grows.
The cure lies in getting to the stem. Cut to the stem and we find that we really don't need anything beyond what we have with us. Furthermore, we find that our fears are mostly a product of our over-active imaginations. We discover that we're both psychologically strong/ secure and loving in nature.
If we can't see this, then we will struggle and we'll suffer and so will the people around us, whom our decisions and actions affect.
If we can't see it yet, we can still act in ways that bring us closer to the realization. We can treat ourselves as if we love and care about ourselves. We can make sure that we do all the things necessary to stay healthy in body and mind. We can make sure to it that we eat healthy and encourage others to do so. We can see to it that we get enough sleep and drink enough water. We can treat our bodies to exercise, stretching, and messaging. We can make an effort to achieve a healthy balance of work and play.
The more toxicity that we remove from our system, be they toxic foods or thoughts, the clearer the picture of ourselves become to us. This is the most beautiful part of life - this spiritual unfolding; this strength and freedom; this love which expresses itself in so many ways but is best put to use in the hands of a human whom knows that he/ she is loving.