Overcoming "messy house anxiety" through inspiration from a pioneer woman

My hat is permanently tipped to working mamas, it really is.

(Commence rant) I am on day 11 straight of going into town, and being gone from home half the day or more, for some reason or other, and I am OVER IT. I guess the equivalent for working moms is being out of the office with nobody covering your job and knowing all the work is just accumulating in your absence. My life the last week and a half has consisted of being in the car and cooling my heels in town, while percolating in the back of my mind is the growing pile of tasks that I am freaking hardly home to put a dent in. As I battle the frustration and messy-house-induced anxiety that cloud my brain, I struggle with things like writing. I don't want to play. I don't want to cook because that creates yet more messes. Right now I just want to either curl up in a ball and cry, or burn everything down and run far far away--like to Hawaii far away. Working moms are freaking superheroes, because I've got the equivalent of a part time job in how much I'm gone from home, and I hate it! (End rant)

Ok. Ahem. Now that I've gotten some ungrateful whining off my chest, I have to acknowledge that things really aren't that bad--except I haven't cleaned the bathrooms in 2 weeks and the foyer has a trail of dried-mud dog tracks through it and there's a heavy layer of dust adorning every surface. (Calm down, breathe) This will get better tomorrow. I'm almost to the light at the end of the tunnel. Tomorrow and Saturday, I don't have to go anywhere, oh blessed, blissful thought.

"Messy House Anxiety"

Yes, I am one of Those People who get anxious/depressed over a messy house. Ironically, I'm not a "neat freak" who needs a magazine-worthy environment. I can stand organized clutter, I can stand clutter in other people's houses, and I'm ok with a certain level of "undoneness"; but I cannot mentally relax once I've fallen way behind. If you search the Internet for "messy house anxiety" it is definitely A Thing with various explanations. For me, being a homemaker is my chosen Job, and quite simply, I don't like feeling as if I'm failing at my job.

My faithful friend of 7 years and counting. We have innumerable hours and miles spent together, haha

Now that I've ranted about how I get when things are NOT going along like normal--well, you may ask, how do I deal with it when things ARE "normal"? I have two small children and several pets and the largest house I've ever lived in, are things ever actually "normal"? (hahaha nope) So, how do I not go berserk daily?

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Well, I did go berserk daily, at first. Before kids, cleaning was easy. I just straightened up as things needed to be done, which wasn't much. Then I had twins. Everything. Always. Needed. to be done, so my former method no longer worked. In the madness, I'd forgetfully do the same chore several times a week while some other chore went undone for a month or more (or until the Husband did it), and I never had time left over to do anything fun anymore. Everybody on Internet baby forums blithely advised "Just let the house go!" That's awesome that that works for other people; it had the exact opposite effect for me. Messy house anxiety screamed at me to get things in order, while sleep deprivation and post partum depression told me it was useless to even try. Quite the vicious mental war.

The Solution (for ME, since everyone is different)

It's funny how things you read years ago, maybe even in your childhood, can come to mind and help solve such problems. For me, the memory that caused an epiphany was Ma Ingalls' household routine as spelled out by Laura Ingalls Wilder in the book Little House in the Big Woods:

If assigning each day of the week its own task worked for pioneer women--well, why couldn't it work for me, too? I thrive on lists, so I sat down and brainstormed my own "major" recurring chores, and then divided them up among the days of the week, with Sunday being a day of rest. I wrote them down, and then made myself stick to it.

It brought me such relief from the ongoing war in my head, taught me to be more accepting of the new limitations in my changed life, and most importantly, freed up more of my time to have fun with the kids. At first, I had to consciously train myself not to jump to do chores as I saw them. I'd see dust on the TV on Friday and itch to grab the Swiffer; then tell myself "no, just leave it." It didn't take too long to go from "OMG I need to dust!" to "it's ok, Monday is for dusting." My days went from feeling like an unending cycle of drudgery to manageable bites of work. It is the right compromise that balances that "let the house go" advice with my need to keep my environment a certain way.

It's really such a simple solution--and one that's easy to overlook (as I did) in today's fast-paced and busy lifestyles. Maybe this can help someone else who is struggling as I did.

What is your strategy?

I texted the Husband earlier that I needed alcohol, chocolate, and a tropical vacation, and he said he could grant the first two, LOL. "I'll settle for a hot bubble bath then," said I--and knowing that I will get my house in order tomorrow, and get back on my usual chore track after that, I will push that nasty anxiety away, and relax tonight :)