The thing about misogyny, like virtually all forms of bigotry, is that it doesn't manifest itself as hatred toward all women. It manifests itself as hateful, abusive attitudes and behavior specifically toward women that we disapprove of. Misogynists are absolutely capable of treating at least some women with respect.
One of the most insidious ways that misogyny does its work in our culture stems from the general belief that it is okay to treat a woman misogynistically if you have legitimate grounds for criticizing her or thinking she's a bad person. In fact, I would take it a step further. It seems that most of us, maybe all of us, have an inner misogynistic voice that we are actually eager to unleash and looking for opportunities to unleash, and the moment we think that it is okay to treat a woman misogynistically, we pile on her gleefully and let loose our inner Donald Trumps.
Yes, this is about Amber Heard, but only partly. Of course I don't know for sure, but I suspect that she's not a very good person. I can also say the exact same thing about the man suing her. None of which is the actual point of this post. The public response to the trial and especially to her is absolutely horrific. It is a slow burning, ugly, unfolding trainwreck of evidence of how cheerfully desperate we are to find nasty women and unload abuse on them.
I'm not saying you have to believe anything she is claiming about her ex-husband. And I'm not saying you're not allowed to sympathize with him or even if view him as a victim here.
What I am saying is that it is possible to do those things—even to believe that she is a horrible person who has done horrible things and that everything he is saying about her is true—without indulging in the most vicious, aggressive, disgusting, despicably ugly forms of unfiltered misogyny. And you should be horrified at what you're seeing even if you think she's more guilty of abuse in their relationship than he is.
I've talked before about the responsibility that parents have to talk to their sons, often and proactively, during this era of the radicalization of young men. If you have sons, you need to be talking to them. Right fucking now. Right this minute.