{DELETED} — SteemCN

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aussieninja (62) · 7 years ago

Man this hits hard... for a second I thought it was the same girl somehow.

I think we all have to deal with addiction to some varying degree these days... everything is marketed at us to feed us those little hits of dopamine and we're constantly left craving more... I don't think you're alone at all in this regard.

Don't stress about posting every day, don't make it a chore... it should be fun and (hopefully) a means to excise those demons.

Sorry you've had such a rough time... especially since everyone concentrates so hard on having the best time ever.

$0.04

2 votes

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baronvonscrub (38) · 7 years ago

God, I'd hope it's not the same girl, or you'd have some explaining to do. ;P

But seriously, I appreciate the support. Shit's hard - might be for a long time - and I'm not an overly strong person. It's only the support of my friends that gets me through each day.

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1 vote

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aussieninja (62) · 7 years ago

Ha... not me... your old friend from school.

Yeah, it's crazy hard. I'm super lucky that I haven't had to deal with any heart-break or loss of friends or family for a really long time... like, a decade... but we're starting to get to that age where older family members start to get sick and that freaks me out. Obviously it's not the same as losing her... but I'm still not ready for it.

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1 vote

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baronvonscrub (38) · 7 years ago

I feel you there, man. The idea of that already terrifies me.

Also, whoo! My upvote is finally worth a cent! :P

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staceyjean (58) · 7 years ago

Thanks for sharing this post with us in the Unity Guild Discord server. It's an event that I resonate with on a deep level. I have been manipulated, used, battered and bruised by "Love", what you were doing for her is honorable. The eye opener for me was realizing what they did has more to do with the kind of person they are, and not the kind of person I am. And the beauty of right here and now is, now you can be you and not who you're expected or told or molded to be. There's freedom in that thought. I was caught up in a search for that one, that one who will love me through hell and back. At the end of the day that person is me. Not the me that anyone left me to be, but the me I truly am. It wasn't until I started questioning my darkness, facing it full on. That's when I really woke up. Any time you want a listening ear I'm here 💯♥♥♥

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1 vote

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baronvonscrub (38) · 7 years ago

Thankyou thankyou thankyou. <3

Gotta keep sharing this metal music with ya for now. :P

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aghunter (61) · 7 years ago

Hi @baronvonscrub

There’s so many things I can relate to in this post. One thing particularly struck me though

Point being, this uncle who I have looked up to all my life always warned me off of the mistakes he made in his life, to try to have me learn from his mistakes. And in a matter of 3 months, I felt like I had thrown away everything he had ever told me and made every mistake possible. I threw myself hard into this relationship with a girl who apparently just wanted to play me, let her fuck with my head, and then resorted to binging on drugs and alcohol and self harm to try to survive. All at once I had let my uncle down, and I was far too ashamed to face him.

Advice is nice, but when it comes to real life, particularly, emotional life, no one learns from advice. Regardless of what anyone tells you, you have to learn from experience. If your uncle is half as good a guy as you imply he is, then he knows this. Don’t beat yourself up over this.

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1 vote

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baronvonscrub (38) · 7 years ago

It's just as you say, he did know that. And he told me that he knew I'd mess up some day; that the smarter people are, the less likely they are to take others' advice as law. Like I said, he's not mad about any of it, I'm just upset I couldn't live up to those standards.

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mattclarke (68) · 7 years ago

Hey Baron. Just saw @choogirl's nomination post.
Always great to find another Mallsballer.
We're doing every last Thursday of the month at the Jade Monkey beer garden in the city, from 6pm.
The year started pretty terrible, by the sounds of it, so it can't help but improve from here :)