I know when I’ve used hindsight either in regards to myself or another, I’ve always used it in a patronising/abusive way. Like, “I should have done it THIS way..you should have done it THIS way..” and wanting to ‘prove a point’ to myself or another. Especially when it came to another and wanting to show that ‘my way’ was the best way, or the right way, and making one feel as horrible as possible…I mean, shit! That is fucked up to say the least. And also here, wanting to boost my own ego as if all I do and say is ‘right’ or ‘accurate’ and believing everyone else’s idea’s, suggestion’s etc are..invalid lol.
So I was thinking how can I use hindsight to be something that is supportive, and not condescending or patronising? Because in ‘hindsight’, removing these methods of being hurtful, harmful, abusive when finding out something AFTER the decision has been made, is still an important and CAN definitely be a cool thing, no it is a cool thing, that is how we learn from mistakes, how we develop, evolve. We always fuck up and make mistakes, then we see in that moment/after/later how we can do it better next time. Same as reflection. We reflect on what we did, and learn from it. Or reviewing. Whatever you want to call it!
And within this, it is to be as SUPPORTIVE as possible. Both to myself and to another. So I would say to another, and would like to hear from another too in the same instance, a form of encouragement for example when I/one has made a mistake and to keep trying or pushing or learning to improve/get better, and then also some tips/pointers and how to do it better next time, and perhaps even reflecting on why what I/one did did not turn out as well as it could have, but the point here is it is all supportive, encouraging - and it is NOT AT ALL patronising, condescending. And so I/one don’t make myself/another ‘feel bad’ about something, a mistake, or perhaps a ‘wrong’ move.
Recommend to check out this chat also with Destonians about being blinded/controlled by guilt, and not being able to see solutions therefore: http://forum.desteni.org/viewtopic.php?f=152&t=8398