- One day I came to suppose that they would get tired... - I coughed a little while removing the traces of tears that had remained on my face - that they would watch me as an alien or, if you like, the one who made such stupid and unnecessary criticisms and comments. I assumed that everything had a limit, that was the truth that would always conclude for me in any book. That’s why ignorance became the only friend that really mattered, but still, I kept looking at the nerve of humanity and how stupid they can be. - I stared at their hazelnut eyes, they hypnotized me and gave them such importance as if they were the most valuable thing in my world, becoming my distraction just not to destroy me in front of him or at least not completely.
I liked to detail it, as if it were a tiny piece of diamond that I would never see again, let alone touch... Of course, in my imagination, I had the little piece of diamond in my hands while I was just trying to keep my feet and still, while many other people pushed me alone until the diamond fell and shattered. So yeah, I wouldn’t actually see him or touch him again.
That’s the comparison of my relationship with him, of course it’s a little more different because being so masochistic the only one who takes on the whole mess is me, so the outsiders are STILL strangers and they don’t give a shit what they’ve damaged, and then there’s me, I suffer for the diamond I never knew how to care for. Then I mourn several days "Blah. Blah. Blah" and the only option that really matters has the purpose of forgetting.
HEY! - He screamed. He doesn’t scream, he’s never done it before. His gaze showed resentment along with mixed anger, it became clear to me that he was only there because lust kills him. I stopped him before he was gonna say another stupid thing and I just said,
I could manipulate you so easily but I’d fuck falling as low as you. - I spat out every word with hatred, while he just frowned confused.
" Idiot. " I thought about it.
I was irritated to see him in the same place one year ago, where I had destroyed so much of myself for him. Watch as he closed his fists in such a way that as his knuckles turned white, his face was nothing but hatred and his body was stiff, though sitting on the bench of any square did not make him look more than an angry human being.
" I get my point. "
- I wish... I wish I had never met you. - I whispered. I took my stuff and got the hell out of that place I despised so much, but he’d still be the only person who’d make me go back there.
I can’t believe it all ended like this.
Just one question kills me with curiosity, and it’s, "What the fuck is Love?" Because yes, I have already heard a lot of those answers that I consider only as stupids, perhaps real but not as specific and detailed as I would like. It’s not enough for me.
Maitte Anggel