9 Most Ridiculous/Dumb Battles in History

Throughout history there have been many wars and battles, some really curious or even bordering on ridicule. Let's see some cases. There’s a war called pig war, and it was literally a pig that started the war, making it ‘the’ most ridiculous one for me personally. Let me know what you find out to be the most ridiculous in the comment box. Happy reading 

1. Battle of Ice

On April 5, 1242, the Teutonic Knights of Livonia fought the Battle of Ice, on the frozen lake Peipus, in the Republic of Veliky Novgorod, a medieval state in northern Russia. The goal was to convert the Baltic Orthodox to Catholicism. The Novgorods, armed with a light equipment, managed to flee in disarray to the Teutonic, who ran disorderly with their heavy armor until the surface of the lake broke. Normally it is said that it is not a good idea to attack Russia in winter, but everything indicates that spring is not an ideal time to do it, unless we wear comfortable clothing and not metal.

2. Battle of Karánsebes

On September 17, 1788 the Battle of Karánsebes took place. The Austrian army attacked itself, believing it was fighting against Ottoman troops. About 10,000 soldiers died. The trigger was a dispute over alcohol: the hussars refused to share a few barrels of brandy.

3. Battle at the Bay of Cádiz

Edward Cecil left in front of an Anglo-Dutch fleet in 1625 with the objective of capturing the Spanish treasure fleet in the Bay of Cádiz. It seemed like a good idea, but the nonsense accrued: most of the hundred ships were nothing but coal miners with cannons, full of recruits with so little experience that many had not used a weapon before boarding. This last one did not have much importance, since it turned out that the ammunition was not of the suitable caliber and many muskets did not have mouth.

In addition, Cecil decided to put aside the most senior commanders and take their friends. With the intention of having it easy, he prepared and sent them an instruction manual for the battle. That they did not receive until his return.

After a bombardment in which the projectiles passed closer to their own ships than to the enemy, Cecil managed to disembark, having forgotten the supplies on board. He sent a group back to the boats in search of food and drink, but this provisioning command never returned.

Cecil's troops managed to reach abandoned buildings, where they discovered barrels of sherry. The officers did not want their men to get drunk, so they tried to take their drink, a decision that was answered by bullets. The next day, Cecil decided to embark again with his hungover troops, bound for the British Isles. During the return trip, which in some cases lasted for months, many soldiers died of hunger.

Even so, on his return Cecil was named Baron and first Viscount of Wimbledon.

4. Battle at Isles of Scilly In 1648

In 1648 and during the Second English Civil War, the parliamentarians of Oliver Cromwell cornered the monarchists in the Isles of Scilly, off the coast of Cornwall, where they survived largely thanks to boarding Dutch ships, allies of parliamentarians. As a result, the Netherlands declared war on the rebels, who surrendered to Cromwell in 1651, so that the Dutch could withdraw victorious without the need to fire a single shot. Of course, they forgot to sign a peace agreement, which was not done until April 17, 1986, so this war without casualties lasted 335 years.

By the way, technically World War II is not over either. Japan and Russia should also sign a peace treaty.

5. Líjar vs France, 1883

On October 14, 1883, the town of Líjar in Almeria declared war on France after Alfonso XII was booed and insulted in France for his support of Prussia. On October 30, 1983, the peace agreement was signed. Líjar currently has about 500 inhabitants.

6. The one involving Napoléon

In 1810 Sweden was defeated by Napoléon. The peace treaty signed in Paris forced the Swedes to go to war with the United Kingdom. The declaration of war was a merit bureaucratic procedure, since the English were still docking their ships in the Swedish ports. In 1812 and with a new prince, Sweden signed peace with the British.

7. The war that lasted 40 minutes

After the death of the sultan of Zanzibar Hamad ibn Thuwaini on August 25, 1896, his cousin Khalid ibn Barghash came to power through a coup d'état. Zanzibar was independent since 1866, but the Sultan had to be accepted by the British consul, who preferred Hamud ibn Muhammad. Bargash refused to abdicate.

At 9 o'clock on the morning of August 27, the British ultimatum ended and the Anglo-Zanzibarian War began. At 9:40 the British troops entered the Sultan's palace and ended the Anglo-Zanzibarian War.

The Sultan's troops suffered 500 casualties while among the English only one sailor was injured. The conflict also meant the end of Zanzibar as an independent sultanate.

8. Civil War of Conch Republic

The Civil War of Conch Republic was even shorter. On April 23, 1982, Dennis Wardlow, mayor of the Florida Keys, finally got fed up with the US border patrol's traffic inspection and declared war on the United States, using the unusual and undiplomatic method of hitting a bar of bread to a man dressed in a navy uniform. After a minute of rebellion, the then prime minister Warlow surrendered and demanded a billion dollars of international aid to rebuild the nation after the conflict.

9. The Pig War

It began in 1859, when an American farmer from the San Juan Islands killed a pig that had sneaked into his field. It was a cruel act and an international fiasco: the animal was owned by a Briton, and it was precisely England and the United States that had long been contesting the sovereignty of the territory.

This began a military escalation in which soldiers from both sides came to cross a good handful of insults, hoping that the enemy was the first to shoot. To prevent the thing from getting bigger, Washington and London negotiated a joint and peaceful occupation of the islands that ended in 1872. When the arbitration of Germany concluded that San Juan would be American.

Image source: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

---

Hope you've enjoyed reading this. Stay with me for more.

HAVE A NICE DAY

With best regards: @tamurah