My Favorite Humans: Grigori Rasputin

in history •  7 years ago 

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Grigori Rasputin


This guy was one whimsical son of a bitch.

Russia, in the late 19th century and early 20th century, was a place where mental illness was widely looked upon as a sign of being touched by divinity. In light of this fact, Rasputin's rise to power makes perfect sense. His sermons, during his time as a self-proclaimed holy man, were rambling gibberish, but the people of his time and place ate it up.

His rise was meteoric--and he won favor with the family of Tsar Nicholas II due to Rasputin's reported uncanny ability as a healer to stop the bleeding of Tsar Nicholas' hemophiliac son Alexei.

Rasputin was known to have an enormous penis, and stories of him fucking women unconscious were commonplace amidst the rumor mills of early 20th century St. Petersburg. He was said to be able to charm women with his piercing eyes and unwavering gaze.

Rasputin is also notable for the unbelievable story of his death. According to Felix Yusupov, one of the nobles who participated in Rasputin's murder, Rasputin was poisoned with cyanide-laced cakes, but was totally unaffected by them, even after devouring several. So Yusopov and company gave Rasputin three glasses of poisoned wine, but still, he did not die, or even show signs of being affected by the poison. Finally, Yusopov got sick of waiting for the poison to work and just shot Rasputin in the chest. But Rasputin jumped up from the ground like a fucking zombie and attacked Yusopov! In the melee and chaos of that scene, the wounded Rasputin escaped Yusupov's palace, only to be gunned down in the courtyard by Vladimir Purishkevich, another conspirator in the murder.

Rasputin's body was wrapped in cloth and thrown into a nearby river. Some say he was still alive even then. But if he was, the icy cold river's drowning currents finally finished the job.

The story is contradicted by the evidence of Dr. Dmitry Kosorotov's autopsy on Rasputin's body. The doctor found only one bullet in Rasputin's body, no signs of poisoning, and no water in his lungs. Reports that Rasputin's penis was severed from his body were also contradicted by Dr. Kosorotov's examination, which found Rasputin's penis still attached to his body.

With Grigori Rasputin, it's impossible to know where the facts end and the legend begins. That is, perhaps, why I find him so fascinating.

For more information, I'd recommend the book 'Rasputin: Faith, Power, and the Twilight of the Romanovs' by Historian Douglas Smith.

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Who knows if the thing about his dick is even true, but there were actually attempts to forge this man's cock. I'm serious, there were fake "Rasputin Dicks" out there at traveling freak shows and museums. I can only imagine a man saying "Hey Honey, let's go see Rasputin's dick at the fair!"

How much more of a legend could you be than having people try to create fake versions of your dick?

I literally laughed out loud at your comment! Thanks for that.

Isn't Rasputin's penis kept in jar somewhere in Russian museum?

Legend has it. I know a bunch of fakes were made though.

bunch of Rasputin dildos floating around out there....interesting.

I heard about that too...

Yeah I thought so.

It's on holland's sex museum, but i don't know if its been DNA tested.

And the legend says his beard was made from the women's pubic hairs he seduced, he could throw thunder from his eyes and his farts were tremors getting his ennemies to fall on their knees before him !

are you talking about TJ or Rasputin?

Truly the paragon of mankind! We should all aspire to be him.

that Anastasia movie would've been funnier if they mentioned rasputin was rumored to have had an enormous penis
Anastasia-5.jpg

The grandfather of Bamboozling

He also had a close circle of women who worshiped him like a god. Perhaps his large dick played a role.

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

Beograd my dude, why the fuck do you know how Resputin smelt?

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

Isn't that dudes penis in a jar somewhere?

Has anybody watched the movie where Alan Rickman plays Rasputin?
It is called Rasputin and it's from 1996.

Awesome. Rasputin is one bad-ass mofo.

I think you've changed my opinion of Rasputin, this was a very compelling essay.

Whimsical! That's funny! Is that a bald spot just behind his forehead or a lighting hotspot?

You don't get it, it's his argue flashpoint impact zone, when his opponnent would run out of argument, there was no need to keep them counscious. He was chuck norris before chuck norris existed.

Glanderson

booper

lol!

Dude, if only he knew how much of a legend he is. I bet he'd be proud.

Well, can't blame the womyns. I think I just wet my tighty whities.

sdsd.jpg

It's interesting how his body wouldn't fail even after all that damage.Probably died of hypothermia eventually.
A true contrast to those people that get a lightly punch in the face and die from brain hemorrhage.

jesus mixed with bill cosby.....fascinitating

sounds like he had it made

A man can dream, I suppose.

Even if he wasn't exceptional in any way the notoriety that this guy created for himself is truly legendary. They just don't make them like they used to.

Rasputin was part of Orthodox Christian cult . Particularly interesting was the idea, that you are more cleanse after committing grievous sins in this case mass orgy…

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There's not much to like about a serial adulterer who corrupted Russian politics at the time and discredited the Tsar heavily. That was a key factor in the abdication of the throne.