Diogenes of Sinope.
The first man in recorded history to not give a shit about anything or anyone. He was the ultimate misanthrope, a master of debate, and possibly the coolest man to ever have existed.
He was happy to be who he was, lived in deliberate ignorance of social conventions and woe betide anyone who disagreed with him. He believed that a simple life was best, and was a vigorous critic of any and all aspects of society that were in opposition to his philosophy (such as corruption and excess).
I'd have debated him over social media even though I agree with a lot of what he had to say on the subject of society- I simply can't imagine a more entertaining opponent than this cantankerous old man who held everything and everyone around him in such low regard.
He rejected all social conventions- food, housing, property, dress and the rest.
He walked around naked in public, urinated wherever it took his fancy, drank heavily and lived inside a barrel- all as a form of protest against a society he despised.
A few samples of the sheer awesomeness of Diogenes:
When a rich man invited Diogenes to his house and had the gall to ask Diogenes not to spit on any of his stuff, Diogenes gave a ‘fair enough' shrug and spat in his face.
When Plato, a somewhat well-known philosopher, was giving a lecture on the nature of man he defined us as ‘featherless bipeds'. Diogenes plucked a chicken, walked into the lecture and yelled ‘BEHOLD, A MAN!’
When he saw a petty thief being led away by government officials, he pointed out ‘Look! The great thieves are leading the little thief!’
When chastised for masturbating in public, his response was that he simply wished it were as easy to banish hunger by rubbing one's belly.
When insulted by a bald man, Diogenes stated that it was beneath him to insult somebody. He did, however, compliment the man's hair for abandoning such a worthless head.
When lying in the park, he was approached by none other than Alexander the Great and asked if the most powerful man in the world could provide him with anything he desired. Diogenes asked Al to get the hell out of his light.
Alexander is reported as being so impressed by this that he said ‘If I were not Alexander, I would wish to be Diogenes'. Our hero's response was ‘If I were not Diogenes, I would also wish to be Diogenes'.
He was a man who was completely at peace with and in harmony with his own nature, and was entirely comfortable with who he was. I'd do my absolute best to retweet his tweets over the Trump-Kim conversation or Kylie’s billionare donation madness simply because I can't imagine a more entertaining person to comment on this lame world issues.
I'd just make sure to keep him off the furniture while tweeting.
Fun Fact: Diogenes lived to be 89, more than two thousand years ago. He must have been on to something.
Hail,You old man.
Cheers :)
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