hello, steemians,
A story a friend told me.
source
In 2015 she told me her salary was $550. Two years later, when she was promoted, I asked about her pay, and she or he said, "Oh, these people, don't mind them. They added only $150 to my previous salary. Due to her small salary, I've taken up numerous responsibilities in the house without complaint. I buy utilities and buy provisions. I pay our two kids' school fees, clothe them, and look out for their medical bills. When my wife gives me a shopping list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys clothes and garments, shows them to me, and asks me to buy them for her.
She began speaking about getting a new car when our second kid came in. Things weren't great on my side, so I asked her to give me some time to get it for her. She said, "I have some money. I would add up to what you have, but would you pay me when you receive your salary." I accepted and took that money from her, and I topped up to got her the car. For about four months, my ears never held peace. She would wake me up at dawn and ask for the money. I got tired of that attitude and paid the money once I didn't have much in my account.
One night, I turned my laptop on and saw emails that weren't mine. I checked, and it was my partner's email. I asked, "Did you use my computer?" She said, "Yes, I check something with it." I said to her, "Then you didn't log out." She answered, "I forgot. Please log out for me." I was to sign out when something caught my notice. I saw a mail saying, "January Payslip." I opened it and began skimming. once I saw her salary, I was shocked. $21750? And this woman has been crying poverty? I then printed it out. That night I couldn't sleep. I was angry, I felt disappointed, I felt cheated, and I felt played. We have been married for three good years, and my wife earned that much without me knowing? The amount she earned didn't bother me, but what she was doing with the money was what I was thinking. I chose not to talk instantly but rather do small digging. All my life, I have kept the view that it is not right for people to go through their partner's phone. It is a breach of privacy, and it brings mistrust within the relationship but that particular night, going through her WhatsApp chat was the only choice I had. I started with her friend. I didn't get much. I read the messages in her family group. I saw a few hints. I checked the chat she had with her father when I realized my wife had bought land in her father's hometown and started building an apartment. Her dad was the one in charge of the project. He often sends photos of the various stages of the project. Her father said, "Thank you for supporting your brother. He would have been in the house had it not been you." She has just one brother—her elder brother. I checked their chat. Her elder brother lost his job some months ago and was home doing nothing, so my wife got her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Which her brother rendered an account, and they split the money. From all angles, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poorly to depend on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was a supportive husband, so my wife might be happy with the person she married. We bought land; it is both our names that are on the land document. The car I bought for her bears her name. I didn't mind. I believed what's hers was also mine.
The next day she realized I was not looking well. I was boiling within but trying to find an opportunity to start that conversation. I asked her, "So why are you doing this to me?" She asked, "What have I done?" I answered, "You bought a plot of land; you never told me. You started building thereon; you never told me. When are you going to tell me?" She was shocked. She asked, "Who told you all this?" I said, "Your father told me." She stood quiet for a while. She asked, "Why would my father do that? What were you two talking about" I said, "I don't know? you ask him." About 20 minutes later she came to me with her phone: "My father wants to talk to you." The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was annoyed. He inquired, shouting and angry, "You said I told you my daughter is building? When did I say that and where?" I asked, "Is it not true that your daughter is building, and you happen to be the supervisor of the project?" He asked me, "I told you that?" I asked, "Is it true or not?" After the rear and forth, I told them, "I went through your messages last night. I saw the photographs. I viewed the budget you had sent to my wife. I read the receipts that you sent to her. You're a person. Would you be comfortable if your partner does this to you?"He started apologizing, saying he believed I was aware." My wife stood there quiet, didn't know what to say to me. When her father aborted the call, I told her everything I knew, from her pay to the vehicle she got for her brother. I said, "Yet, your sanitary pad, I buy them. Do you think that I'm a jerk? You would use your money to acquire your properties and depend on mine because you're my partner? I hear. We'll see." Trust was lost, and the love between us was broken. We had to find out a different way of living our lives from now on. Her father called me every day apologizing for everything and seldom taking over the blame, so I didn't need to rebuke his daughter. I told him, "The spirit I'm in now, it might be difficult to think through or think pardon. Just give me space."
Two days later, they were in our house. The daddy, the mother, and her elder brother. They came to apologize. "Don't let this hack the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing in the least, consider the kids and be mild in your decision." I listened to them. My attitude was still an equivalent. "I need time to free my mind. Just leave me alone to think." From last month to now my wife had changed totally. She doesn't request money, but the home is being run smoothly. She has begun paying for things she never bought, but that change me. She has shown me a big lesson, and I'm taking it seriously. That is everything; I even have to look out for myself and my family first. Last, she told me, "If you would like us to change the names on those properties, we will do so." Guess whose name is on the building project…her father's name." I told her, "You don't get to change anything. They're yours. You suffered for them, so you'll decide what you would like to try to do with them." The land I purchased has our names. I'm selling it and take a refund. The car she's driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She admitted she'll purchase the car. I've given her two months to pay, else I sell it and take my money. She's getting the message, and I'm happy.
Everyone For himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I'm going to leave her. I keep telling her I won't, but I will gladly give her if she wants a divorce. It might give us a while to heal and see what may happen, but I've taken the lesson she showed me through what she did when it involves money.
Do you think he is doing the right thing?
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