Life is complicated but it also worth living

in hive-107252 •  3 years ago 

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Hello everyone, my name is Rita. This is a very short story of my life. I hope it inspires you to hold on to the faith that life doesn't end until you give up on yourself.
When I was a kid, I thought life was a story with a less complicated plot and a happy ending. That it would pan out exactly the way we wanted. Blame TV shows for that.
I wanted to be a actor. So I'd say, "at 21 ,I'll be super rich with my own car and house and at 25 I'd be married with kids, a job of my own and living abroad" very easy right?
Ladies and gents, I'm 21, living in my aunts house with zero money of my own and a university that is driving me nuts😩. At some point ,I felt like giving up on school.
I lost my sense of purpose and most importantly my smile. As I kid ,I was anxious to see my boobies .so I wanted to grow up so bad so I could have them. I would put oranges in the place my boobies now stand and would pretend to be a grow up in a class room 😅
I did grow you guys, I got them boobies and all and that's when I realised that growing up takes way too much from us.
I felt like my life as a kid was taken away and now as an adult too.
At some point ,boy problems came in, life choices changed ,lost my identity and felt helpless and lost .
I would cry myself to sleep at night. Thoughts of suicide started to stream in. And what I'm saying, I'm not talking about years ago, I'm talking about a week ago.
I wouldn't even look at myself in the mirror and have something good to say to myself.
Yesterday, I picked up the phone and I took a selfie smiling as hard as I could. And staring right back at me was the 8 year old girl I knew.
Her smile is beautiful and dim a little bit but it can be brighter. I won't end it, I will keep pushing until my smile is diamond again ❤

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