GUILT WITH REASON

in hive-107252 •  3 years ago  (edited)

I feel like am going insane, and I feel am insane whenever the realization down on me that am on these fucking crazy world alone. I really feel committing suicide whenever I retrospect on my past like, all the things have done to you, all the lies have lie, the excuses have been given you just to satisfy my selfish or self interest, the hurt, the pain, the suffering you went through, working merciless under the rain, fighting the course of nature to make things right for me. How I overlooked the cries in your eyes, how I never sees the illness you were going through serious, how I was so naive, stupid and careless, how I was so so..., don't know what to say or do. Oh my gosh! I know am the reason you have to go 😭,yes! I know I cause it but am writing this letter to you, to let you know that I can't keep walking the road alone, that I have been a fool to always see myself as a strong man who doesn't shed tears yet I cried every passing day in my closet when I realized that you are the only thing I live for, that you matter not just the world to me but my life. the world can go away but my life with you should remain undecided by the gods because there is no me, no us without you.

I have been asking this unanswered question; do you really have to go? do you think I can exist on my own? don't you think am a lonely lunatic who can only be cure by your love? do you really feel I deserve to live after all the things I made you went through?

I don't think I deserve you. You really deserve more than me. You deserve the best. please don't come back to me 😢, let me ruin in my guilt and insanity until I beg for your forgiveness. Oh! how I can't live one day without you, please forgive my iniquities and shortcomings and please dearest love accept me back wherever you are hearing my cry, plead or reading this note. Am still the one you once 🙏 love.
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